Previously on Teen Wolf…
Derek didn’t bite Scott but he is still creepy and he needs Scott to find the
Alpha. Scott is thinking about Allison naked and Jackson is thinking about
Scott. Stiles is thinking about Lydia and definitely not Derek.
A lone car drives through a dodgy neighborhood at night, it’s being
driven by a woman who is listening to chick music. Everything seems fine until
the danger music starts playing and the predator POV kicks in. Yup this is
basically every single Supernatural
cold open ever complete with the woman saying to herself “get it together
Kate”. She’s going to die right… wrong. It’s a Buffy genre flip because the
classic female victim is actually a shotgun wielding badass (she's also completely insane but we'll get to that later).
Title Card!
Scott hears Kate’s shotgun from bed but sadly he is not shirtless
(don’t worry they will make up for that later).
Back at the Argent abode Allison catches Hottie Papa Argent
sneaking out – apparently her aunt Kate has a flat tire. It’s clearly a lie but
Allison is too tired to call him on it.
Badass woman aka Aunt Kate has her hands full now that Derek has
joined the Alpha chase. Kate is not happy and she has big gun with some special
bullets (one might even say magic bullets). Derek chases the Alpha onto the
roof of a factory (or something similar) only to be shot by Kate, who seems
pretty pleased with the turn of events. Kate is soon joined by Hottie
Hunter Argent and it’s pretty easy to see that Chris does not approve of his
baby sisters reckless methods.
Scott has apparently climbed out of bed and made his way to the
scene of the crime. He listens into the Argent siblings conversation –
discovering that whoever has been shot (we know it’s Derek of course) only has
about 48hrs to live. If that wasn’t enough evidence we cut to Derek’s glowing
wound and worried look, it’s times like these he wishes he had better social
skills and more friends.
The next day – at the Argent abode – Allison is very excited to see
her aunt Kate. Aunt Kate gushes over how beautiful Allison is (I know that feel
Kate) because that’s what aunt’s are supposed to do. Allison mentions that she
kind of has a special boy and Kate thinks she should kind of have many boys
(agreed). It’s all lovely family bonding until Allison tries to open Kate’s bag
– Kate uses her kung-fu death grip to freak Allison out and then mentions that
her car needed a jump star (not a flat tire). Well that’s suspicious enough to
warrant further investigation.
In school, Stiles is still bitching about Derek and Scott is just
angry about life. To make matters worse he got a D on a test. This is something
I want to draw attention too because there is a lot of discussion in the fandom
about Scott’s intelligence.
On the test Scott gets back it says very clearly that this result is
not like him. Add to this the way Stiles says “dude you need to Study more” and
it’s clear, Scott is not an idiot and he’s not a bad student either. Sure when
you compare him to Stiles he doesn’t look great but that’s because Stiles is genuinely
a genius. Stiles doesn’t need to study all the time to keep on top of his
school work because he pretty much coasts through on his intelligence anyway.
Scott on the other hand is an average student so of course his grades are going
to start to slip when he doesn’t have time to study.
It’s okay though because Scott’s “studying” with Allison after
school. Stiles is excited by this because he’s a creep and due to the fact that
he has about as much game as an otter in a tub of jello he has to live vicariously
through Scott. Scott agrees but only if Stiles stops with the questions. Stiles
promises no more talk about the Alpha or werewolves or Derek (who still arouses
scares him).
Speaking of Derek – he’s wandering through the halls of Beacon Hills
High looking like a junkie (does this school have any teachers?). He’s looking
for Scott but finds Jackson instead. Jackson’s a dick as usual even though
Derek asked politely and he only does that once. Jackson still wants to know
where Scott is getting his juice and suggests that Derek should stop sampling
the merchandise. Derek decides to walk away because Jackson is clearly an idiot
– but before he leaves he feels the need to manhandle the teenagers again
leaving a nasty scratch on the back of Jackson’s neck.
Derek gives up on asking the teenagers for help and opts to use his
werewolf super-hearing to locate Scott. He finds Allison, which is close enough
because even Derek is observant enough to work out that if you find Allison
Scott can’t be far away.
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| I like to think this picture represents how Lydia feels about everyone she knows. |
Allison is talking to Lydia about her “study date” with Scott. Lydia
reminds Allison to use a condom – Allison is shocked, she really likes Scott
and she doesn’t want to screw it up. Lydia thinks Allison should screw Scott,
Allison seems to like this plan.
End of the school day, Stiles practically skips out of building and
into his jeep – he’s probably got a date with his right hand to get home to –
unfortunately his plans are put on hold when Derek collapse in front of his
car.
Stiles: “You got to be kidding me this guys everywhere.”
Scott decides the best way to deal with a dying Derek is to yell at
him to stop. Remember what I said about Scott not being an idiot, I take that
back. The best part of this exchange is Derek’s exasperated look when Stiles
asks if he was shot by a silver bullet. That is Derek’s “how is this my life”
look. Remember that look – you’re going to see a lot of it in this episode.
They manage to get Derek into Stiles jeep and Scott heads to Allison’s for
sex to find the magic bullet. Also Jackson is staring at Scott in a
meaningful way again but that’s hardly anything new (just admit you’re in love
already Jackson).
Scott rides his bike with werewolf speed – beating Allison’s car
back to her house. He’s worried about entering the enemy camp but Allison tells
him not to worry, they won’t be home for hours. They head straight for
Allison’s room – Scott thinks they should start with history but Allison has
other ideas.
They make out on Allison’s bed until Scott pulse starts to rise and
his claws come out. Not another thinly veiled metaphor for the male sex drive
(wait yes it is). Scott doesn’t want to make Allison feel like she has to do
something she doesn’t want to. Allison looks at Scott like he’s an idiot
seriously does she look like the kind of girl that would let Scott force her
into to doing something she didn’t want to. Scott’s phone rings… he doesn’t
answer it because when does he ever answer it. Seriously if your life depends
on Scott answering a call then you are already dead.
Meanwhile back at the jeep. Stiles is taking Derek home but Derek’s
not having it. He can’t go home when he can’t protect himself. Derek pulls up
his shirt to reveal the seriously infected bullet wound. Stiles gags and tries
to kick Derek out of the car – he’s not scared of a wounded Derek… except that
he is.
Derek: “Start the car or I’m going to rip your throat out… with my teeth.”
Stiles starts the car.
Scott turns his phone off and Allison shares the many failed hobbies
she’s had over the years. She is good at something though – she leads Scott
into the garage to reveal that she’s an expert archer. Scott doesn’t find this
funny at all because archery seems like a useful skill for someone that was
planning on being a werewolf hunter. He’s soon distracted by a wall of guns –
Allison’s dad sells fire arms to the police – it looks as though that magic
bullet is going to be pretty hard to find.
The young lovers are making out in the garage when Hottie
Papa Argent and Aunt Kate come home.
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| How could anyone stay mad at those puppy dog eyes? |
Papa Argent is basically what every father aspires to be when their
daughter brings a date home. He’s incredibly menacing but he doesn’t actually
make any official threats, it’s all implied. Scotts about to head home when
Aunt Kate decides to have some fun – she invites him and his adorable brown
eyes to stay for the most awkward family dinner ever.
Seriously, I’m not lying. If I was at this dinner I would have
stabbed myself but Scott powers through – he must really like you Allison. Papa
Argent offers Scott various forms of alcohol, which Scott of course politely
declines. Mama Argent attempts to make the conversation more pleasant but Papa
Argent just keeps bringing it back to awkward-ville.
My favourite part is that Allison starts to freak out because her
dad is being a total ass to her boyfriend and Scott (bless his cotton socks)
picks up on it. He takes Allison’s hand in his and makes an awful joke to ease
the tension. It’s one of my favourite Scott/Allison moments and it reminds me
that even though they annoy the crap out of me sometimes they are actually
pretty adorable.
Back at the jeep Stiles is freaking out because Derek smells like
death – cue Derek’s “how is this my life” look. Scott suggests Stiles take him
to the animal clinic, the creepy Vet won’t be there so it should be safe.
Scott is trying to subtly search the house (well as subtly as Scott
can) but he accidently sets of an alarm. Luckily for Scott Aunt Kate catches
him and conveniently lets him use the guest bathroom, which is attached to her
room. Scott smells the bullet – finding it in Aunt Kate’s bag. He translates
the French label, it’s Nordic Blue Monkshood, and calls Derek who tells him
that he needs to bring him the bullet.
Scott tries to ditch the end of the most awkward dinner ever but
Aunt Kate insists that he stays for desert. I’m glad she does though because
Papa Argent gives possibly my favourite speech ever about a rabid dog. I know
it has extra significance because Scott is a werewolf but I swear if I ever
have a daughter I am going to give this speech to anyone she brings home. (On a
side note I have never been more attracted to Papa Argent – it’s creepy but
damn sexy).
Anyway back at the Animal clinic – Derek takes his shirt off because
of reasons that I don’t even care about because Hoechlin’s body is actually a
work of art. He goes on and on about his last resort and I probably should be
listening but since he took his shirt off it’s very difficult to concentrate.
Apparently Stiles has to cut off Derek’s arm… oh.
Scott’s finally getting away or so he thinks when Kate Argent
corners him and asks him what he took from her room. Scott’s terrified, Allison
is embarrassed and Papa Argent is just looking for an excuse to beat the crap
out of Scott. It looks like he’s going to be busted when one of my all time
favourite Teen Wolf moments happens.
Allison pulls out a condom – apparently she was in her Aunt’s bag before Scott
was.
It’s the best thing ever – Papa Argent looks like he’s hemorrhaging
and Scott can’t figure out where to look. My favourite thing is that Scott
doesn’t work out the implications of what’s just happened until he’s out of the
house and he smiles like a kid on Christmas morning.
Back at the Animal clinic things are not going so well. Stiles does
really like the idea of having to chop an arm off because of the blood.
Derek: “You faint at the sight of blood?”
Stiles: “No but I might at the sight of a chopped off arm.”
Let’s just take a moment to appreciate the way that Stiles and Derek
interact. I’ve been brushing over it until now because most of it doesn’t have
that much significance to the plot but that’s got to stop. When Dylan and
Hoechlin perform together magic happens. Their timing is quite literally
perfect. The lines they are saying aren’t anything special on their own but the
way their delivered makes them some of the most memorable on the show. Stiles
makes Derek funny – his extreme seriousness becomes sassy annoyance and Derek
highlights the fact that Stiles is a snarky dick. Stiles is not a lovable
kitten and it’s his interactions with Derek that show that. There is no way I
can do them justice through description but just trust me when I say that there
is a reason people like their dynamic so much.
Anyway Stiles is not buying the threats until Derek decides to
manhandle the teenager pulling Stiles into his personal space (oh the gifs).
Stiles is about to chop Derek’s arm off when Scott arrives saving Stiles from a
lifetime of therapy. Derek takes the magic bullet but passes out before he can
tell them what to do with it. Scott has to control his shift and bring out his
claws to get the bullet when it falls into a floor vent. Stiles is practically
on top of Derek freaking out because he’s pretty sure the werewolf is dead.
Scott gets the bullet and Stiles prays that Derek doesn’t kill him
for punching him awake. Derek takes the contents of the bullet sets it on fire
and puts the ash into his infected bullet wound.
Then something spectacular happens – he falls onto the ground and
starts writhing in pain. Except apparently Derek’s version of writhing in pain
is thrusting his crotch into the air… also he’s shirtless and in very tight
jeans. I'm not lying or exaggerating, this is a thing that actually happened. And people ask me why I watch this show.
I think Stiles sums up the sentiment of the entire fandom when he
says: “that was awesome.”
Derek is cured – if his ability to use sarcasm is anything to go by
but because Derek is not allowed to have nice things Scott threatens to go to
the Argents if Derek doesn’t leave him alone. Derek takes Scott on a field trip
to the local hospice to introduce Scott to his Uncle Peter, which leads into
the first of the three cliffhangers at the end of the episode.
Cliffhanger no. 1: Six years ago, Derek and his sister were at school when someone set
fire to their house killing eleven people and burning Uncle Peter beyond
repair. Derek is sure it was the Argents that did it because they were the only
ones that knew.
Cliffhanger no. 2: Outside the Argent abode Allison spots something mysterious – the passenger
window of her aunt’s car is broken. Definitely suspicious.
Cliffhanger no. 3: Inside the house Kate and Chris have a little chat about hunting
according to the code – they only hunt those that hunt them. Kate insists that
she always plays by the rules but the way that her eyes light up at the sight
of fire suggests otherwise.
The end… til next time.
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