Wednesday, May 3, 2017

“I’ll die if I don’t get tickets”: in defence of zero chill

Tickets for Harry Styles super intimate and much sort after world tour are about to go on sale, and as we prepare for The Harry Games I am confronted by yet another annoying round of ‘let’s make fun of fangirls’. It’s amazing after Harry Styles impassioned speech in Rolling Stone about how teenage girls are the future I’m still stuck with folks making jokes about how hilariously over the top fans can be.

I’m sitting there pretending I’m an adult and they’re like “look at this girl on twitter saying she’ll die if she doesn’t get tickets to see Harry Styles like there aren’t real problems the world”.

On some level I’ll agree because not getting tickets to see Harry Styles is not actually going to kill anyone. He’s not offering some kind of miracle cure only to those in attendance, unless you’re talking about a cure for the heartbreak I’ll feel if I’m not one of the chosen few. Intellectually I know I’m not going to die if I don’t get tickets to see Harry Styles but at the same time I WILL DIE IF DON’T GET TICKETS TO SEE HARRY STYLES.

If you think there are more important things in life than getting tickets to see Harry Styles then you’re right. I’m aware of that. So are all the other fangirls on Twitter caps locking about their impending doom. We are very aware that in the grand scheme of things getting tickets to a pop concert is pretty low on the list of world priorities. Don’t worry, in the event of a house fire I will save other humans/pets before I go for the tickets but that doesn’t mean that those tickets have no importance at all.

Something I’ve learned in my years of caring about stuff more than is emotionally healthy - is that there is no limit on caring. You can in fact care about more than one thing. I can care about Harry Styles tickets and I can care about climate change at the same time.


Here’s the deal, I desperately want tickets to see Harry Styles. Am I going to survive the likely outcome where I don’t get tickets? Of course I am. But until that happens I need a way to express how important this is to me. Language is limited, there’s only so many combinations of words available, so sometimes the only way to express how I feel about these tickets is by saying that I WILL DIE BECAUSE THAT’S HOW IT FEELS. The truth is part of me will die with those tickets, the part of me that hoped beyond hope for the chance to stand in a room with less than 2,000 people and watch Harry Styles sing his adorable little heart out. Once the tickets are sold that part of me will be gone for ever. SHE WILL DIE, because she didn’t get tickets.

So there it is, my over dramatic ass is going to die on Friday because there’s a tiny spark of hope inside me that is living for the possibility of getting tickets to see Harry Styles. Let me express myself while I have time for fuck sake.