Recapturing Teen Wolf: Consequences and Coyotes

Previously on Teen Wolf… Scott, Stiles and Allison sacrificed themselves to the magic fairy tree Nemeton, making Beacon Hills an actual beacon for the supernatural and giving them a heart of darkness. Also Scott is a true Alpha and let’s just appreciate that that is all the information they gave us because literally everything else that happened in 3A is insignificant. At least we all agree we should forget the whole thing ever happened. 

 

It was the night before whatever the hell is about to happen, and all through Beacon Hills not a creature was stirring except for a seriously distressed Stiles who is tossing and turning in his bed muttering about not letting them in. WTF.

I see feet and I shouldn't be this excited about it.

His eyes open and he’s in a box – it’s got air holes so we know he’s not buried alive but it doesn’t seem to be preventing Stiles from freaking out because the box won’t open. The camera spins, turns out he’s vertical not horizontal and the box is a locker. Stiles breaks through the door and he’s in the locker room (yet he’s still wearing a shirt – Teen Wolf you are losing your game).

Fragmented faces are a thing this season.

It’s night, he’s in the school so he thinks it’s probably a good idea to go wandering around (that always works out so well for everyone). Not that it really matters though because it’s pretty clear this is a dream. In the hallway a door is open leading to a classroom or possibly the cafeteria – IDK okay Google it. Something is out of place though because the magic fairy tree Nemeton is in the middle of the room.

Well that's just not practical. 

What do you do when you see a magic tree that is known to feed off human sacrifice? You touch it of course. Someone really needs to explain to Stiles what happened to the cat. The tree grabs him with creepy vines (not the online video sharing site) and…

Lydia would have removed those posters and you know it Stiles.

He wakes up in bed only this time he’s not alone Lydia is lying in the bed next to him. He tries to convince himself he was just dreaming and Lydia is all touchy-feely and lovey dovey and I have to say Stiles, honey, if this is what you think a relationship with Lydia would be like then you are sorely mistaken. That girl in the bed next to you, that ain’t Lydia. It's a dream within a dream. Is this Teen Wolf or Inception?

Do not do that Stiles. 

To his credit Stiles works out pretty quickly that something is up. Why is Lydia in his bed? But he’s soon distracted when the door opens and he’s overcome by the feeling that he should close it. Dream!Lydia does not think that’s a very good idea, she thinks Stiles should come back to bed but Stiles ignores her protests and approaches the door. What if someone gets in?

Because he still hasn’t learnt the cat’s lesson he walks through the door instead of closing it and we’re back at the Nemeton. Bright lights. Stiles knows it’s a dream. He tells himself so and he screams until…

Pretty face. 

He wakes up in his bed. It’s morning and his dad is knocking on his bedroom door telling him it’s time to go to school.

Imagine him bring you coffee in the morning. I could get used to that. 

Side note: Stiles has adorable fish PJ bottoms. I want pull them off him.

PJ's. 

At school, Stiles tells Scott about his dreams. Apparently he’s been googling sleep paralysis – which is when your mind wakes up before your body and you freak out because you’re aware that you’re paralyzed. Scott thinks it’s probably post traumatic stress or something. I’m pretty sure Stiles has PSD but I also think this particular situation is the or something. Then shit gets real.

Look more concerned Scott... oh wait that's not possible. 

Stiles: You want to know what scares me the most? I’m not even sure this is real.

No. 

Stiles wakes up in bed screaming. His dad rushes into the room and grabs his son holding him tight as he thrashes on the bed. The Sheriff tells Stiles that it’s okay but you know what it’s not fucking okay. I am not fucking okay. Everything about that scene – down to the music and the lighting – suggested that it was the real deal and then BAM turns out it’s a dream. That certainly makes thing interesting because now we know that not even the audience is privy as to what is real and what is not.

Don’t even talk to me about the way the Sherriff clutches at his son like he’s the only thing holding him above water because it was too real and I am still a little emotionally raw from the whole experience. Stilinski family feelings will be the death of me.

I see red, I see red, I see red.

Opening Credits… now with added red.

Scott is getting ready for school looking particularly beautiful in a singlet with the sun streaming in the window and hitting him in all the right places. Mmm Hmmm. (Looking good Posey, just saying).

Work of art. 

He’s on his way out the door when he notices his shadow has claws when his hand does not. That’s weird and probably not a particularly good sign. He should get that checked out or something. I don’t know who you call when your shadow is acting up – Peter Pan maybe?

Is there a pill you can take for an our of control shadow?

Scott just brushes it off though and opens the door to be confronted by… Isaac, who is looking particularly uncomfortable. They have a really awkward interaction about going to school or something but it’s pretty clear that’s not what Isaac really wants to talk about.

Isaac: Can I ask you a question?

Scott: Okay?

Isaac: Are you angry at me?

Scott: No.

Isaac: Are you sure?

Scott: No.

I actually really love this exchange because it highlights Isaac’s insecurity and Scott’s desperate attempts to be the better person. Because he wants to be but the situation sucks, it’s always going to be messy and not even Scott McCall can ignore that.

Isaac: Do you hate me?

Scott: No. Of course not.

Then things get a little weird because Isaac asks Scott if he wants to hit him and considering Isaac’s abusive past that actually makes sense. It’s not really a fun joke though. What is funny is how indignant Scott is about it. Like he can’t understand why Isaac would think he would want to hit him.

Isaac wants to make out with everyone tho. 

Scott: Do you want to [kiss Allison]?

Isaac: Yeah totally.

You see that right there. That’s the punch line. You don’t need the actual punch because it adds nothing to the joke. It’s just out of character and honestly kind of uncomfortable. It ruined a scene that would have otherwise been pretty funny. Let’s just pretend that didn’t happen because it was a cheap joke at the expense of Scott’s characterization. Melissa is still perfection though.

Marry me?

Melissa: Hey you two supernatural teenage boys, don’t test my entirely un-supernatural level of patience.

Stiles is packing his bag for school when he starts looking confused. He picks up a book to look at it (I’m pretty sure it’s a book on one of the World Wars) but the letters are out of order. He can’t read it… welcome to my world Stiles: dyslectics untie.

This season is the season of Stilinski feels. I just know it. 

Then the Sheriff is there – he wants to know if Stiles is all right. You know on account of the night terrors. Stiles insists he’s okay but I think everyone is aware at this stage that he’s really not. He’s pretty good at changing the subject because he quickly questions the box his father is holding.

Stiles: It says Sheriff Station, do not remove.

Sheriff: Yeah, unless you’re the Sheriff.

Totes not hiding anything at all. Nailed it. 

Well at least we know where Stiles gets his evasion techniques. Those damn Stilinski men; always hiding their feelings behind a layer of sarcasm. Whatever Stiles has to get his butt to my bedroom I mean to school.

Allison rushes out the door, shouting good by to her father (and me too because that skirt JFC). She’s in the elevator when things start to get a little weird. She’s cold – then the door opens and I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore toto. In fact it looks like we’re in an abandoned hospital. But I guess it’s perfectly normal for a creepy abandoned hospital floor to appear in your apartment complex.

RUN AWAY!

She walks out of the elevator – because that seems safe - and heads down the hallway to investigate. There’s a flash and for a moment there is a second Allison in back in the elevator behind her. I don’t know if that is supposed to indicate that Allison is still in the elevator or that her personality is starting to split.

Naturally Allison ends up in the morgue – where one of the refrigerator things that they keep the bodies in (I don’t know the term and I cannot be fucked to google it because I am a lazy ass and it’s been a long day). Anyway the label on the body refrigerator says “Kate Argent”. DUN DUN DUN. Allison’s like oh hey, it’s my psychotic dead aunt, I should probably go say hi. But whens he looks inside it’s just a long metal box with nothing inside.

I still love you.

A WILD ZOMBIE!KATE APPEARS. Allison runs away but it’s okay because she’s not in a creepy abandoned morgue with her dead aunt. She’s made her way to school without her knowledge. Remind me not to drive in Beacon Hills. Lydia is there looking like utter perfection as usual, also she is concerned because her BBF is not doing so well.

Guess who's not the crazy one anymore?

Scott rides into school on his bike looking like a sex god basically and when did Tyler Posey lose the cute and become a man? Because I am loving it. He sees his Alpha eyes reflected in his helmet. And uh oh. That’s not good. Then as he walks towards the school his shadow transforms into a giant wolf. Much like Peter in Season 1.

The monster within. 

He does the only logical thing – he tries to run away from his shadow. By logical I mean not logical at all seriously Scott did you just try to run away from your own shadow? Luckily Stiles catches him before he completely freaks out. Stiles knows that Scott is seeing things because he’s seeing things too – then Lydia jumps into say actually it’s all three of them but they have been ignoring it for two weeks because they were waiting for the new episodes to start. Ah in random time jumps, always an excellent plan.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO US?

At the Sheriff station – the Sheriff is trying to kill me with sexual frustration by chewing on his pen while he does his detective thing. I’m gonna need him to take me, take me now. Also he’s working stuff out but I suggest you don’t look at his evidence board because it will just upset you because timelines. The important information is a picture of a little girl called Malia Tate. Got it? Good.

Important. Remember. Okay.

Back at school, Lydia is basking in the fact that she’s the sane one for once. She might be enjoying it a little too much but whatever, she deserves it considering no one was there to help her through her trauma. Scott’s all, well we did die and come back to life, that’s got to have some side effects right? They just have to keep an eye on each other.

Same Lydia, same.

Can we take a moment to talk about the fact that the side effects that Scott, Allison and Stiles are experiencing are directly linked to their biggest fears. Scott is terrified of losing control of the wolf, Allison is sacred of becoming her aunt and Stiles can’t lose his grip on reality. It’s just everything I wanted and more because each of these fears has been fundamental to their characterization since Season 1.  

In class we are introduced to the new history teacher – why would anyone take a teaching job at this school, it’s basically like becoming a defence against the dark arts teacher at Hogwarts… or a Night Vale Radio intern. Anyway the history teacher’s name is Mr Yukimura and he enjoys embarrassing his teenage daughter Kira by pointing out to the class that she has no friends.

Parents are the worst. Am I right? (JK I love you mum).

Kira’s head falls to the table but it’s okay because Scott happens to like beautiful girls with embarrassingly involved fathers.  They smile at each other and it’s like at first sight. I’m surprised that Scott doesn’t offer her a pen. He was probably going to but then his shadow distracts him again.

Scott's such a romantic soul. I love him.

Allison is shaking, she can’t even paint whatever she was going to paint with the red paint on her brush. Apparently Lydia and Allison take art together (I expect an influx of artist Allydia fics please and thank). Lydia doesn’t think an expert markswoman like Allison should be shaking that much but apparently it’s been happening for a couple of weeks. Then she knocks the red paint and it reminds her of that one time she saw her aunt her throat ripped out. Lydia thinks she should start over.

Lady BFF's are my crack.

Across the room Isaac is watching, and ignoring the weird stalking vibe – Isaac takes art! Isaac is an artist. What if sensitive artist Isaac needs a life model because someone ruined his drawing, which makes up like 90% of his final grade? What if Scott offers? What if he needs more than one? What if Allison and Scott are naked in a room while Isaac draws them like one of his French girls.  What if threesome? Okay I’ll stop now.

Isaac is down for a threesome, Isaac is down for anyone.

In the hallway Scott has some thoughts about the situation as Stiles struggles to open his locker.

Scott: Maybe we need a little more time to get back to normal.

Stiles: Yeah, try not to forget we hit the reset button on a supernatural beacon for supernatural creatures. There’s a pretty good chance that thins are never going back to normal. 

Teen angst.

The numbers on Stiles locker have turned into symbols and Stiles can’t understand them. But Scott is ignoring Stiles on account of he has swapped his Allison sense for a Kira sense. Kira is tell her dad how he ruined her life and she should basically set herself on fire (somewhere Derek is weeping). Scott distracts Kira from her rant, because Scott is pretty distracting.

Incoming Hottie. 

Then Scott is shifting and I don’t want to say it but that’s the second time Scott has started to lose control after Kira looked at him. On a positive note, I think they want us to think it’s her, which means it probably isn’t. It could be her dad though or it could ever be Stiles (I’m not the only one that’s thinking Stiles could possibly be the big bad am I?)

Brothers. Also, arms.

Stiles drags Stiles into an empty classroom – and none of the other students bat an eyelid. So basically the entire school thinks they’re fucking (seems legit). Scott strips off his jacket because of important reasons involving my lady parts. He tells Stiles to stay back, he can’t control it, he doesn’t know what’s going to happen but Stiles doesn’t because they’re brothers. *sobs*

Scott digs his claws into his palm until blood is dripping all over the floor and is anyone going to clean that up? Because that’s got to be a little bit suspicious right. Did they ever hire a new janitor after Peter killed the last one? Seriously who would work at this place. 

ARMS!

Scott: Pain makes you human.

And I’m crying because Scott is using Derek’s advice from Season 1 and I’m also crying because no one should ever use Derek’s advice. Derek is fucked up and should not be used as role model… but also WEREWOLF BROTHERS!!!!!!

Stiles kneels in front of his friend because it’s time to admit that things are happening. For real yo. It’s getting bad and it’s not just Scott, Stiles is completely losing control. Sometimes he’s not even sure if he’s ever actually waking up. Because you can tell you’re dreaming because you can’t read in dreams. Well Stiles is having trouble reading when he’s awake or at least when he thinks he’s awake. Like right now. Stiles looks up revealing that all the letters on the blackboard and the posters surrounding it are jumbled… Stiles is definitely losing his grip on reality.

Has anyone deciphered this yet?

In the woods Lydia pins up a target, she’s on a mission to make Allison better because that’s what friends are for. Allison doesn’t think it’s going to work and Lydia doesn’t have time for that kind of negative attitude. This scene is giving me all kinds of feels though because it reminds me of way back in Season 1 when Lydia and Allison first went out into the woods to play with weapons together.

Lydia looks like she's trying will Allison to be better. 

Allison is right. It doesn’t work. She can’t shoot straight but Lydia refuses to give up because Lydia Martin is not going to be beaten.

Lydia: Maybe hold the string a different way… try the Mongolian draw.

Allison looks a little confused but come on, is anyone actually surprised by Lydia’s smarts anymore? I highly doubt Allison is. I think she’s just a bit emotional because it’s clear Lydia spent time researching archery because it was something that’s important to Allison. That’s love!

Touching. There is touching! ABORT ABORT!

Next on Lydia’s list of things that might prevent her best friend from becoming her psychopathic aunt is visualization. She tells Allison to close her eyes and imagine arrow hitting the target. Instead Allison visualizes a figure running through the woods and decides to go investigate.

Allison: Wait here.  

Lydia: Are you serious?

Allison: I’ll be right back.

Lydia: You did not just say that.

Zombie!Kate for queen!

Oh Lydia you beautiful genre savvy princess, let me love you. Also you should probably like sedate Allison or something because she’s running through the woods with a deadly weapon after a hallucination of her dead aunt. Zombie!Kate calls to Allison and suddenly it’s night. Zombie!Kate jerks forward and Allison fires an arrow, that Isaac catches right before it’s embedded into Lydia’s skull. Nice.

Whoops.

At the McCall residence, Isaac explains to Scott – his Alpha – about what happened with Allison. Scott’s like hang on a second, how come you were stalking Allison through the woods? That’s my thing. Then Scott throws Isaac out the room again and sigh. Can we not do this anymore? It’s a cheap overdone gimmick and it’s not adding anything to the story. It’s not funny okay. But then Melissa…

Perfection. 

Melissa: Aww you guys come on. This house does not have the supernatural ability to heal.

I like to imagine that Melissa prepares these puns in advance and just waits for the opportunity to use them. Then she laughs at herself for hours afterwards because supernatural healing, get it. I call them mom jokes and I feel like she imagines her own laugh track.

We need a whole new scale of things that are not okay to talk about this.

Stiles places flowers on his fathers desk and we are not talking about the fact that they are for his mother’s grave and that it’s the gesture that counts and that Stiles knew the flowers went missing in one day because my heart cannot handle it okay. No. You can talk about that amongst yourselves I don’t want to hear it.

Completely normal. Nailed it. 

The Sheriff is on the floor, going through old case files – he’s looking back on them with a fresh perspective now that he’s in the know on all things supernatural. Stiles does not think it’s a good idea and I agree because it’s probably going to end in more grief and regret but what’s he supposed to do.

Detective Stiles. 

There’s one case in particular on his mind. His first as Sheriff – he had to inform a man that his wife and two children had died in a car crash. Then they were apparently mauled by coyotes and the youngest girl’s body was never found; assumed eaten. Lovely. It could have been coyotes, but it happened on the night of a full moon so there’s that.

VERY BAD MAN. 

Then Stiles notices that the files are being boxed up ready to be sent to someone. That someone is Agent McCall (and everyone that read that one fic during the hiatus is having the urge to grab hold to Stiles and clutch him to their breast before hissing at the name tag).

What she said. 

Stiles is late to class and someone is in his seat. When she signs in response to Stiles he figures it’s not worth the trouble and sits behind her. Coach Cupcake is at the front of the room, standing completely still and starring silently. He starts to sign the same thing the girl signed. Stiles does his rambling thing then decides it’s probably a good time to get the fuck out of there but then the whole class is signing silently and there’s a ringing in his ear and…

He jerks back to consciousness to Coach Cupcake blowing his whistle at him (there is literally no way to say that without it sounding dirty). Stiles wasn’t paying attention and Coach Cupcake is just incredibly frustrated with the youth of today.

Same.

Coach Cupcake: Stilinski, stop reminding me why I drink… every night.

Concerned Scott feelings. 

Scott is looking very concerned and Stiles tries to brush him off saying he just fell asleep for a moment. Except he wasn’t sleeping. Stiles looks down at his notebook which is covered in the words, wake up over and over again. I swear to goodness Jeff all this turns out to be inside Stiles head I will probably do something illegal and possibly violent. 

It was all a dream.

Pack meeting in the schoolyard – if I wasn’t so freaked out about everyone’s mental health I would be crying because they are working together. It’s like fan fiction… I’m sure Boyd and Erica will be there any minute oh wait. FUCK YOU SHOW!

Scott: Okay so what happens to a person who has a near death experience and comes out of it seeing things?

Stiles: And is unable to tell what’s real or not.

Allison: And is being haunted by visions of demonic relatives.

Isaac: They’re all locked up because they’re insane.

That sounds about right but Stiles was hoping he might try to be helpful but Isaac was locked in a freezer for most of his childhood do he doesn’t give a fuck about Stiles bad dreams. Stiles is still an asshole – god love him. Seriously. He’s an asshole.

Look at her though. 

It doesn’t break out into an all our brawl over which white boy had it worse because Kira comes over. She couldn’t help but overhear they’re very loud conversation about supernatural happenings. So at this stage we can pretty much say that Danny totally knows what’s going on because these idiots are not very good at the whole secret identity thing.

Kira is totally adorable and completely awkward. And also a little bit strange because instead of suggesting an MRI she starts telling them about the Tibetan word bardo. It literally means inbetween state – the state inbetween life and death. She’s all smiley and nervous when she says it like she’s trying to win friends with her knowledge of Buddhism.  It’s decided. I am going to keep her. I shall call her squishy and she shall be my squishy.

PLEASE DON’T LET HER DIE OR BE EVIL. PLEASE.

Lydia: And what do they call you?

Scott: Kira.

Awww. Kira gets an embarrassed smile and everyone judges Scott for being a hopeless romantic. Also Lydia is either totally jealous that Scott has a new love or she’s being Allison’s back up and hating the new girlfriend on her behalf. Either way it’s amazing and I also kind of ship Lydia and Kira. Can that be a thing please?

How soon can she be pack?

Kira ignores the ice coming from Lydia and sits down at the table with the pack to explain about bardo because she is not going to be Regina Geogre’d out of Scott’s pants (stay strong Kira). All the stuff they were talking about happens in bardo – there are different progressive states and you can be visited peaceful and wrathful deities… like demons. Also the way Kira giggles when she says it makes my heart skip a beat.

Death huh? Good times.

Oh and in case you were wondering the final progressive state is death. Everyone’s reaction to this pretty much sums up their state of mind at the moment. Stiles is the best because he just looks about 300% done. He’s gonna die. Oh well. Maybe he’ll get some rest then.

The next step is a visit to Deaton who is just as cryptic as usual. He thinks that Stiles subconscious is trying to tell him something… in a language he doesn’t speak which is rather troubling because how did Stiles subconscious learn ASL? Luckily Deaton knows sign language because of plot reasons so he’s able to decipher the message.

Bros.

When is a door not a door? Scott has the answer to this one, take it away Scott: When it’s a jar. Get it. Hahahahahahahahano. Stiles is not impressed because this is not the time for riddles. Good thing his mind was being literal. When they did the whole sacrifice ice bath thing, they opened a door to their minds and when they came back it was left ajar. Well Deaton did tell them it was risky (it was your idea you cryptic unhelpful ass wipe).

Because of reasons. 

Stiles: Wait a second. I know that look. That’s the we know exactly what’s wrong with you and we have no idea how to fix it look.

Having a door like that open is not good – you don’t say – and they all need to close it as soon as possible. Then I’m pretty sure he hands them a bill and tells them to come back in two weeks time if they are still alive of course.

Sheriff, if you need help from teenagers this is not a good sign.

Outside the Sheriff is there to meet Scott and Stiles… because he needs their help. Well specifically he needs Scott’s help and the way Stiles head falls when he says that makes my heart hurt. He’s still on this case about the dead family and the little girl’s missing body. He just wants to find Malia’s body.

I don’t know why he met them outside the animal clinic at night because they don’t actually do anything until the next day. Maybe they spent the whole night planning but I hope not because it’s not a very good plan.

The Sheriff distracts the only surviving member of the Tate family – Malia’s father – while Scott and Stiles sneak into her room, which has been preserved like a shine. Like that’s not utterly heartbreaking or anything. Scott sniffs around for a bit while the Sheriff discusses the coyote problem with Mr Tate (if you take away their food source they will leave you alone).

They're still kids. 

Scott can’t catch the scent. Everything smells like an animal (hmmm) maybe it’s the giant dog that’s growling at them. Stiles tells Scott to get rid of it and Scott is like how am I supposed to do that.

Stiles hides the toy horse in his jacket. 

Stiles: Glow your eyes at it. Something. Be the Alpha.

Except Scott can’t control his shift at the moment so all they can do is cower in the corner. It’s not like one of them has supernatural strength or anything but yes of course they would be terrified of a puppy. It's moments like these I remember they are still kids. Scott tries to be patronizing and the dog gets angry. Good thing Mr Tate doesn’t seem to concerned about his dog barking but that’s probably because the Sheriff just told him his family might have been murdered when he thought it was an accident.

Scooby and Shaggy anyone? 

Before they leave, Stiles snaps a picture. I don’t know why he does that but I’m sure there’s a reason because they made a big deal of it. Meanwhile Mr Tate doesn’t want anything to do with a murder investigation (which could be suspicious or maybe he just wants it all to be over).

Family?

The boys meet the Sheriff down the road – Scott is upset because he didn’t find anything but the Sheriff is starting to think he should probably just let it go. He looks so dejected though and it’s not until after the Sheriff leaves that we find out why. There are hundreds of unsolved cases but this is one that the Sheriff thought he might be able to solve… while he’s still Sheriff.

One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong.

Melissa arrives home to Scott and Agent McCall in the middle of a screaming match. Turns out Agent McCall is there to build a case for impeachment – he’s trying to get the Sheriff fired (okay but what do we call him if he’s not the Sheriff?). Melissa is not impressed but she has more pressing concerns because Scott is starting to shift. They cannot let Agent McCall see that.

Butt face.

Melissa takes Scott into the hallway and tells him to calm down. She reminds him that he and Stiles worked out how to deal with this. He needs to find his anchor. Except his anchor was Allison and he doesn’t have Allison anymore so she tells him to be his own anchor. Once he’s gained some semblance of control Melissa gives him what will probably become one of my favorite motivational speeches ever.

Mother of the year.

Melissa: Sweetheart. Let me tell you something that no teenager ever believes but I swear to you is the absolute truth. You fall in love more than once. It’ll happen again. It’ll be just as amazing and extraordinary as the first time. And maybe just as painful. But it’ll happen again. I promise. Until then. Be your own anchor.

YOU TELL HIM MAMA MCCALL. HE CAN BE HIS OWN ANCHOR! I CAN BE MY OWN ANCHOR TOO! EVERYONE CAN BE THEIR OWN ANCHOR! I’M NOT CRYING I JUST HAVE MOTIVATION IN MY EYE!

Who else wants to climb all over him?

Stiles is in bed – his feet are bare and really, when we asked to see more Stiles skin this was really not what we had in mind. Scott does that thing where he knocks on the door and enters at the same time, which is really not a good way to enter a teenager’s room. Trust me.

Look at our little hero being his own anchor. 

Scott: You and me we’re gonna go out and find a body. A dead body.

Okay but let’s be real here for a moment. I know this is a throwback to Season 1 but does Scott remember what happened last time they went out to look for a dead body… teenage werewolves took over my life that’s what happened so I don’t think it’s a very good idea to let history repeat itself. But whatever. Don’t listen to me. It’s not like I’m talking to a fictional character on the Internet or anything.

She's a hunter all right.

Meanwhile Allison and Isaac are making out – and talking about Scott because we all know that’s what gets them going. Kudos to Allison because Isaac keeps trying to head south – good move. Isaac insists that Scott is 100% over it and Allison doesn’t really want that but she wants to keep making out. Then Isaac pulls his shirt off – drink for gratuitous manflesh – and things are starting to get interesting until Allison asks what’s that around Isaac’s neck.

Well this took an unexpectedly kinky turn.

It’s Zombie!Kate – she wants them to do it together, which is incredibly creepy but also I am going to need a fic about it ASAP. Don’t judge me. Kate stabs Isaac and…

Fuck Study buddies. 

Allison wakes up on her bed next to Lydia (because taking naps together is something that they do). It was all a dream, except Allison has the knife in her hand, which is not very good. Yup these guys need a lot of help – but I have to say that part of me wants at least one of them to accidently kills someone they care about while they are hallucinating. Preferably Stiles.

Stiles just remembered what happened last time.

Scott and Stiles and wandering through the woods – Stiles is making up all kinds strange scenarios because if a werewolf did kill the Tate’s then there’s another werewolf in town for them to deal with. They don’t need that right now especially considering Scott can’t control is transformation.

While Scott is looking at the map on his phone, Stiles is startled by the sound of a coyote knocking the phone of Scott’s hand and into a ravine.

Stiles: I have coyotes so much, they always sound like they’re mauling some tiny helpless little animal.

*cough* foreshadowing *cough*

They climb down to get’s Scott’s phone – which is still working even though it fell into a puddle. What an amazing phone, everyone should probably get one – and they find the car. It must have been too much trouble for them to tow so they just left it there to rust so that Scott and Stiles could discover the werewolf like claw marks in the metal. It looks like a werewolf is to blame.

Kill it with fire!

Stiles spots something else. He reaches into the car and pulls out the little girls doll – as seen in the picture he snapped earlier. Everyone, including me, almost has a heart attack when the doll talks – especially because it says it’s hungry (that's the creepiest thing ever). That doll has been sitting in a car for eight years the battery still works, they should definitely burn it and maybe they will after they deal with whatever it is that is growling at them from the dark.

They both see it, a pair of bright blue eyes shining from the tree line. Scott takes off after it running through the woods. There’s some slo-mo but we can forgive it because at least the don’t do that weird werewolf run anymore. He catches up with it and I’m pretty sure it’s a coyote. I know some people are saying wolf and I’m not an expert but I’m going to go with coyote until proven otherwise.

Welcome to the pack Malia.

Scott looks at the coyote – it’s eyes flash blue (does that mean it’s kills someone innocent) and Scott knows. It’s Malia Tate. It’s the little girl who’s body was never found, which means either a werecoyote attacked their car on the full moon or Malia lost control and killed her family. I chose option number two please because girls with angst issues are my fave – if she gets

And just as I am wondering where Derek is we are transported to some kind of torture chamber and suddenly it all makes sense. Derek is chained to an electrified fence – shirtless of course – and before I say anything else I would just like the thank MTV for fuelling my fantasies for all of 2014.

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That said can we please stop torturing Derek now. As much as I love to see Derek tied up because it feeds my Sub!Derek addiction I am just so bored of watching him get tortured and I really like watching him do that pain induced hip thrust so it’s a big deal for me to say that. Even Derek look’s bored. He’s like: being tortured again, must me Monday.

You can torture Peter Hale as much as you like though because it is all his fault. Everything is his fault. EVERYTHING.

Derek agrees. Everything is Derek's fault.

But to leave things on positive note I will be crying about the fact that Scott texted Derek for help for like 1000000 years. Also if Allison is still all about protecting those who can’t protect themselves then she should probably just follow Derek around. Because he really can’t protect himself, or anyone else and someone should just kill Peter.

To be continued…

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