Recapturing Teen Wolf: The Kitsune and The Key

Previously on Teen Wolf… The chemistry closet was supposed to be locked. Someone wrote atomic numbers on the bored and Barrow took Kira’s picture so she took the towns electricity. Also masked demons attacked Isaac.

Happy Halloween... in January. 

Jack-o-lantern. It’s Halloween in case anyone forgot but not everyone is happy about it because some kids are stopping on the poor pumpkins someone spent hours carving. I don’t know what the deal is there but I’m a bit iffy on the whole Halloween situation. What I do think is that someone needs to control the children in this town. They’re just running around terrorizing the neighborhood. They should be arrested or spanked or something.

Backstreets back, alright. 

Creepy noises and the sound of marching – it looks as though those stupid kids are about to learn why they shouldn’t be gallivanting around the neighborhood in the middle of the night. It’s the gang of masked demons that attacked Isaac. They rule these streets now or possibly they are a boy band. Slow motion walking can mean so many things.

Isaac in pain: It's Monday.

Isaac is having some kind of fit on the floor of Allison’s room when Chris and Allison finally break through the door. He’s freezing like ice and Chris knows that he has to shift to kick start the healing process. So Chris starts punching Isaac and let’s be honest – he’s really working through some of the feelings he has about Isaac and his daughter.

Side Note: It seems punching werewolves until they are shocked back to consciousness is a valid remedy. Well done Stiles.

Anger or concern? We'll never know.

Isaac shifts and then starts freaking out – he’s basically having a panic attack, it’s quite traumatizing really.

Isaac: Did you see them?

Allison: Who?

Isaac: There were five of them. They were black. I couldn’t see their faces they were covered.

They protect those who can't protect themselves.

Like masks but he could see the eyes, they were greenish yellow… like a firefly – which connects all the way back to 303 (remember it seemed Chris was hiding something about the fireflies then). It also connects to 314 when the mysterious gloved figured unleashed the firefly demons from the nemeton. Sorry it just turns me on when things link together in interesting ways. *storytelling boner*

Sad!Isaac.

Chris is in hunter mode, he check the windows but the alarms weren’t triggered. That’s because the masked demons came out of the shadows – suggesting they are non corporeal sometimes at least.

Secret past stuff, must be time for a flashback ep.

Zoom of doom on Chris’s face. He knows something – I knew he knew something about the fireflies. But because the Argents are a family of stoic silence he’s not going to tell anyone what it actually means. He’s going to ask his daughter to lie to her friends and worse he’s going to ask Isaac to lie to his alpha. Have these people learnt nothing? Communication is the key to not dying but no everyone has to be a martyr and keep it all buried inside because they want to deal with the problem on their own. So frustrating. Dammit.

Allison agrees to give him 24 hours because they could have killed Isaac, but they didn’t and they need to figure out why. Then Chris drops a bomb – he thinks the masked firefly demons are after him. Dun dun dun!

I say that top is inappropriate for a man his age... but I'd be lying.

Chris runs into his office to look for an important plot device – it’s a special box in the cupboard where he keeps all his secrets that could possibly come back to haunt him in the form of mask firefly demons. Inside the box is a broken mask… just like the one the firefly demons were wearing. Dammit Chris what has your stupid code done this time (sorry I didn’t mean to insult the code, I know that upsets you)?

Someone get the sticky tape, we're going under cover.

Opening Credits: The Bloody Beetroots Remix!

Agent Asshole is interrogating Scott, Stiles, Kira and Lydia about the events of the evening – which involved a kidnapped teenager and a citywide black out. And honestly I just want to post a direct transcript here because everything about this scene is perfect (there are so many memorable moments in this episode). I recommend watching this scene again – paying close attention to the Sheriff and Lydia because they’re expressions are gold.

How you doin?

Agent McCall: So when did you get there?

Stiles: At the same time.

Agent McCall: The same time as who?

Scott: Same time as me.

Agent McCall: By coincidence?

Stiles: What do you mean coincidence?

Agent McCall: That’s what I’m asking you. The two of you arrived at the same time, was that a coincidence?

Scott: Are you asking me?

Stiles: I think he’s asking me.

Lydia: I think he’s asking both of you.

Agent McCall: Okay, let me answer the questions…  Let me ASK the questions.

Lol Sheriff.

There is just so much to love about this because it cements Stiles as a little shit. It shows of Scott and Stiles report. The Sheriff gets a break from dealing with Stiles shit and Agent Asshole is left looking like an idiot, which is something that I am generally a fan of. The best part is that everything they told him is true – sure they are leaving out a few important details but it’s not like they can say that they new where to look for Barrow because Lydia had a banshee hunch.

Stiles is like, they did it. 

Agent McCall: Just so I have it absolutely clear. Barrow was hiding in the chemistry closet at the school. Someone left him a coded message on the blackboard telling him to kill Kira. Then Barrow took Kira to a power substation and tied her up with the intent of electrocuting her, which blacked out the entire town.

All true. That’s pretty much exactly what happened and it sounds insane and people wonder why kids in supernatural shows never just go to the police.

Agent McCall: How’d you know he’d take her to a power station?

Stiles: Well cos he was an electrical engineer so where else would he talk her?

Agent McCall: That’s one hell of a deduction there Stiles.

Stiles: Yeah, what can I say? I take after my pops, he’s in law enforcement.

Sheriff Stilinski can’t control his laughter… although he tries to disguise it as a cough. Agent Asshole is really not impressed, but I agree with the Sheriff, I think Stiles is pretty funny. Of course if I was in Agent Asshole’s position I would have shot him by now, but I don’t like him so I don’t care.

Then Agent McCall asks Scott and Kira what they were doing together – and they had pizza, no sushi, no pizza and sushi. See it’s funny because it sounds like a lie but again it’s a truth. They did have pizza and sushi (also they are giving me a tooth ache).

Agent McCall: (to the Sheriff) You believe this?

Sheriff: To be honest I haven’t believed a word Stiles’ said since he learned how to speak. But I think these kids found themselves in the right place at the right time and that girl sitting there is very lucky for it.

Peer Pressure.

Then Agent McCall asks Kira if that’s how she remembers it and the pack (Scott, Stiles and Lydia) all stare at Kira as though they are daring her to disagree them. Peer pressure is not cool guys. Kira agrees because she just wants her phone back, unfortunately Agent Asshole has decided to keep it for reasons that I assume something to do with yellow being his color.

They are finally permitted to leave and Kira watches intently as her phone is locked into Agent McCall/Sheriff Stilinski’s office. Also where are Kira’s parents? I mean did no one think to inform them that she was kidnapped by a mass murderer and then interrogated by the FBI? Because I’m pretty sure as a minor she’s supposed to have a parent or guardian present. But what do I know, I guess they do things differently in Beacon Hills.

Stop trying to be a parent fuck bucket. 

On the way out Agent Asshole pulls Scott aside for some attempted parenting that I am so not hear for but he does actually make a point.

Agent McCall: If half this story about Barrow is true then not only did someone help set him loose, but he’s pawn in their little game. A mass murderer’s bad enough – a mass murderer being controlled by someone is far worse.

I might not like him but he’s good for exposition – he should probably stay away from Scott though. Asshole.

You are beautiful.

At home Kira decides to relax by lighting some pictures and taking some selfies – the powers out so the kids have got to make their own fun. She looks at the picture she took and there is some kind of gold lightfield all around her. I don’t know about you guys but I think Kira just won the selfie Olympics.

No matter what you are. 

The power might be out but school is still happening for no reason that makes any sense. If a town wide blackout is not a reason to take the day off then I don’t know what is but Coach Cupcake has other ideas.

At least coach is having a good day.

Coach Cupcake: Just because there’s no power, don’t expect there to be no school.

Stiles: Hey that was a triple negative, very impressive Coach.

Coach Cupcake appreciates that Stiles notices his language skills. Stiles is hanging out at his locker, with this physics text book. He drops his keys and notices something unusual. There is an unknown key on his key ring. That’s strange in itself, who knows exactly what every key on their key ring is used for. There are like three on mine that don’t open anything that I know of. But it seems Stiles takes an inventory of his keys so he notices a when a new one appears without him noticing.

Scott arrives and Stiles forgets about the key because he has to stop his best friend from chasing after a girl who might be dangerous.

Think with your brain not your heart Scott.

Stiles: You need to remember that someone left a coded message telling Barrow to kill her.

Scott: Which is why I need to talk to her.

Stiles: Scott, no way. Until we figure out if she’s just another psychotic monster that’s gonna start murdering everybody I vote against any and all interaction.

I think Stiles is mistaking Scott for Derek. Derek is the one that continually falls for psychotic monsters that murder people. Scott falls for people that might have a questionable moral compass at times but generally try to do the right thing, even if they get it wrong a lot of the time. It’s a completely different thing. Also Stiles if you think Scott is not going to find Kira then minute he is out of your sight then you do not know him that well.

Maybe it's the key to Derek's heart?

Stiles has more important things to worry about though, like the mysterious key!

Why is Danny wearing a shirt?

LOCKER ROOM! Behold, attractive shirtless men in their natural habitat. There is also some stuff about Danny’s black light Halloween party being cancelled and Ethan trying to get back into his pants. Why are the Twins still around again? I’m sad about Danny’s party but I just don’t care about anything the twins have to say… except this:

Ethan: Scott doesn’t care about power, he cares about people. 

That’s probably the best description of Scott I have ever heard and that’s why he’s the true Alpha.

Martin family feels. 

Mama Martin is a substitute teacher! I’m super excited to see more of her, and I want to learn all about her relationship with Lydia. Especially if it continues to produce gold like this scene.

Mama Martin: Sweetheart, since this is my first class and I haven’t taught in five years I just want to remind you of one thing. Try not to embarrass me.

Lydia: You should have thought about that before wearing those shoes.

Perfection, as always. 

Mama Martin looks down at her shoes – and then back at her daughter. This is how they show affection and I love it. This show really needs a mother daughter relationship, it’s the only thing missing from the single parents club.

Lydia: Love you.

Mama Martin: Love you too.

Lydia does your mom know she's supposed to be teaching physics?

That other twin (the one not boning Danny) wants to know why Lydia’s mom is teaching biology. Lydia’s like because Mr Harris used to teach Biology before he had to leave due to death by darach. This news to me because, in Season 1 and 2 Mr Harris taught chemistry – it was actually a pretty big plot point, with the fire and all. He might have changed subjects for the New Year but during 3A he was teaching physics… remember Danny’s paper about telluric currents? Also Lydia has a physics textbook. 

Maybe this is all part of the dream vs. reality thing 3B has going on, but it’s more likely a mistake. You see this is why you need a script editor and a script supervisor. So they can fix problems like this. It’s a simple fix. The continuity on this show is so frustrating.

Anyway, the other twin (the one not boning Danny) points out that he wasn’t the one that killed Harris. So Lydia reminds him that he did help kill Boyd, who was only a teenager, and actually their friend. Unlike Harris, who was a dick and pretty much got what he deserved, also Lydia’s mom got a job out of it so being involved in his death probably wouldn’t have been that bad. Killing Boyd on the other hand, unforgivable.

Actual hero Lydia Martin.

Lydia: The other night I helped save someone’s life. That felt really good and I look at you and all I can think is that you helped kill Boyd. You’re not just a bad boy Aiden. You’re a bad guy and I don’t want to be with the bad guys.

I love love love, the way Lydia is evolving. I mean I loved her when she was ethically neutral and I would have enjoyed watching her continue down that path but there is just something so beautiful about watching her slowly realize that she wants to a hero. She doesn’t want to be in the middle, or on the outside of the fight. She wants to be one of the good guys and that’s fantastic.

They have a venue for Danny’s party! Yay!

Who put Derek in blue? Fuck you!

Cut to Derek – having just cleaned the smell of Peter out of his loft he’s off to do some general errands. Like standing menacingly in the cereal aisle of the supermarket and glaring at the service station worker. Before he leaves he surveys his home. Either he’s super happy about the way it looks – he’s a big fan of the hobo-minimalist look – or he’s thinking that he should probably move somewhere that isn’t a graveyard.

That's how most people look when Scott McCall sits next to them.

Kira is sitting in the hall because she doesn’t have any friends, except Scott who soon joins her (so much from staying away from her Scott, he’s got no self control when he comes to the women in his life). Kira says she doesn’t want to talk about it, so Scott offers to discuss an upcoming test instead. That forces her hand. She closes the text book in Scotts hand, it’s time for a D&M.

Kira: I’m going to show you something that no one else has ever seen. No one except Barrow.

MAGICS

Kira asks Scott to take a picture with his phone – so he does and it reveals the strange light field we saw earlier. She doesn’t know what it is, it just started showing up a couple of months ago. It only happens when there’s a flash. Barrow knew about it and he used her phone to take pictures as proof. If someone sees those pictures they will probably think it’s a cool digital effect, but for the purposes of the story let’s imagine it would be bad. Never fear Kira, actual hero Scott McCall is on the case.

Swooon.

Scott: We need to get your phone back.

Derek is in the parking lot outside his loft, I assume he’s finished his errands for the day. Let’s assume he finished his errand and he didn’t buy anything that needs to be refrigerated because it makes what happens later a little less tragic.

Beacon Hills needs like a town wide parenting seminar.

There’s some ominous music, and it appears as though Derek’s about to be attacked but it’s just some kids. Trick-or-treating. In a car park. Alone.  At night. How that is supposed to be less scary I don’t know? Seriously are there no responsible parents in this town?

Derek looks like he’s going to murder the kids, and let’s face it there’s a chance that could happen (maybe he thinks they are demons in disguise, it wouldn’t be the first time he was tricked). He reaches into the car and pulls out… some candy. Someone hold me. Derek bought candy for trick-or-treaters. I need to go cry now.

The kids continue staring at Derek because well he’s just nice to look at. Naturally Derek shifts and scares the living day lights out of the kids so they run away screaming. And because he is trying to break my heart into a thousand pieces – he smiles. Like he’s proud of himself. Like he’s happy. For a moment.

Happiness is fine but it's momentary. 

*sobs*

He shouldn't have smiled.

Because happiness and Derek Hale is not a thing that can co-exist – Derek is then attacked by the masked firefly demons because anything evil that comes to Beacon Hills has to attack Derek, it’s like a right of passage.

Nice teeth.

Inside the loft those two guys I don’t like and Danny are setting up the loft for the black light party. They got a generator and Keahu has nice teeth. 

Scott and Kira arrive outside the police station where Stiles is waiting for them with a key card for everything.

Doing illegal things to get the girl.

Scott: You didn’t steal these did you?

Stiles: No I just cloned them using a RFID emulator.

Scott: Is that worse than stealing?

Stiles: It’s smarter.

Whoops?

Good to know Stiles is prepared for a life of crime if this whole hanging out with werewolves thing doesn’t work out.

Kira pulls Scott aside, she wants to make sure that Scott didn’t tell Stiles about the photo thing. Trust me Kira, if Stiles knew about that he would have taken like a million pictures already. Scott just told him that there were the regular kind of incriminating photos on the phone. You know the naked kind – does that count as child pornography?

She's gonna send Scott naked photos later.

And we’re back in the game. Stiles gives them the low down and how to get in and were to go.

Stiles: Scott if you get caught I can’t help you okay. My dad’s under investigation for impeachment because of your dad so if anything happens I will run and leave you both for dead.

Sure Stiles, believe what you want. Everyone – Scott included – knows that you are not going to leave them for dead. Okay so he would probably leave Kira for dead but seeing as she’s with Scott she’s safe for the moment.

Sneaky.

Kira and Scott sneak into the station and I can’t help but wonder if these people have heard of security cameras. I love the Sheriff but maybe they are onto something with this whole impeachment thing. This has to be the worst Sheriff’s department.

They make it into the Sheriff’s office, which is also Agent Assholes office. I think. I’m not sure. Anyway they find the phone but it’s out of batteries and they can’t take with them because they will notice it’s missing, with the power out – this is quite the pickle. Suck that to anyone that thinks you can’t create tension with today’s technology.

One picture does not a dad make.

Scott spots a computer, and Kira miraculously finds a charger that fits her phone (considering she doesn’t have an iPhone that’s totally unbelievable but I’m willing to suspend disbelief, just this once). When Scott opens the computer is he surprised to see a picture of himself as a child with his dad. Despite the fact that baby!Posey is the most adorable thing ever, I am so not here for Agent Asshole getting any kind of redemption. At all. So if that is a thing that is happening I am not interested.

Okay it's definitely the key to Derek's chastity belt!

Outside Stiles is playing with the mysterious key again, it’s really getting to him. Then Agent Asshole shows up and Stiles has to make a choice. He might regret it but there’s no way Stiles is going to let Scott get caught. He’s out of the car and into the station before you can say “brothers”.

Don't you touch him Agent McCall!

Stiles stops Agent McCall outside his office and starts rambling. Strange as it might sound this is the scene that perfectly encapsulates why this episode was so good for me. You see on the surface it’s funny right? It’s Stiles being Stiles. He’s rambling, he’s annoying Agent Asshole and he’s helping Scott. But what he’s saying is actually setting up what happens later in the episode: Barrow received information at the school so maybe the person who gave him the information might be someone from the school.

This kind of info might seem like a given but it’s important to show the audience how the characters come to conclusion. In 3A there was a moment where Scott suggests that the darach is one of the alpha pack’s emissaries. It turns out to be right but I have no idea how or why he came to that conclusion. As a result the reveal was unsatisfying.

As soon as the phone has started working and Kira and Scott are on their way out – Stiles flips. And if you needed proof that Dylan O’Brien is seriously talented then look no further than this moment because the way he shifts, from comedic to intense gave me chills. I do not blame Agent Asshole for shaking in his boots.

Stiles will murder you, do not think he won't. 

Stiles: You know this attitude that you have towards my dad. You can dress it up to all the professional disapproval that you want but I know the real reason you don’t like him.

Agent McCall: Is that so?

Stiles: Yeah because he knows something that you don’t want him to know. And guess what? I know it too.

I'd be worried too Agent Asshole. 

There has been surprisingly little said about this, it’s over shadowed by all the other drama but it’s super intriguing. Logic says that it has something to do with Melissa and Scott but I don’t. It could be something bigger. I really want to know just how awful this man is, because I have no doubt that he worse than we think.

He tells Stiles to go home – there’s a curfew – but he is visibly ruffled by what Stiles said. Good to know that someone doesn’t estimate what Stiles is capable of.

Scott and Kira come running out to meet Stiles. They got away with it and they are riding on the adrenaline of success.

Yay crime!

Kira: God that was awesome… I mean terrifying, completely terrifying but kind of awesome. I’ve never done anything like that before have you?

[awkward pause]

Stiles: Yeah… once or twice.

Remember when you guys used to be enthusiastic about crime... good times.

Yeah, once or twice or every weekend since they were kids (because you know they used to sneak in before everything went to supernatural hell). Kira is adorable though, she looks so pleased with herself. Who knew abstracting justice could be so much fun?

Kira wants to go for a ride.

Scott says he should take Kira home but she doesn’t want to go and he doesn’t want her to go – so they decided to go to the black light party at Derek’s loft instead. So it’s party time and I like that Stiles has just except that Scott ignored his warning/advice to stay away from Kira. There is no stopping Scott McCall when he’s falling in love.

Isaac and Allison arrive at the loft – they open the door to reveal a mass of sweated, painted, glowing bodies.

You fucked up.

Isaac: Derek can never know about this.

Yes, of course, the werewolf with super senses will have no idea that over a hundred people were traipsing through his home. I don’t know how any of you are still alive.

Get it Danny. 

Inside the part its time for Danny to get his flirt on with Ethan. Or Ethan to get his flirt on with Danny. Whatever. He needs to be painted, the choice: face or body. Well there is really only one choice and Ethan ripping off Danny’s shirt one of the hottest things to ever happen.

Then Ethan has to go get ice because in any horror situation involving teenagers someone has to go get ice so they can be attacked. It’s like a rule.

Side Note: The girl who is painting Danny looks so smug. Like whatever, I’m not even jealous… but how do I get that job? I’m asking for a friend.

Same girl. Same.

In the mass of sweaty heaving bodies – are the demons. They blend in. Danny notices something, which is another piece of evidence in the Danny knows exactly what’s going on.

In the ice getting place Ethan gets attacked by the masked firefly demons but I still don’t really care so let’s move on.

Scott, Stiles and Kira arrive at the rave. Stiles is still going on about this mysterious key that has been bugging him all day. He asked his dad but he had no idea where it came from. Scott, being the super-bro that he is – asks Stiles if he wants to forgo the party until they figure this out and Stiles looks as though he might take Scott up on the offer until a girl in a pink wig kissing him on the cheek and Stiles figures screw the key, it can wait, he’s going after the girl (Scott is so very proud of his bbf – Kira kind of is too).

She is definitely worth chasing.

Kira and Scott don’t really seem like the raving kind and soon Kira starts to get lost in the crowd but Scott grabs her hand and pulls her back towards him.

Kira: Thanks.

Scott: For what?

Kira: For everything.

*heart eyes*

It’s so nice that Scott has found someone that is a genuinely decent person like he is. Kira is so grateful, for life, for Scott and that’s exactly the kind of girl that Scott needs right now. 

Well this is awkward.

But teen romance is never easy and just to prove that things are always more complicated than they seem, Scott spots Allison across the crowd. They share a beautiful, and bittersweet moment that is less about rekindling romance than about letting it go. Unfortunately Kira doesn’t know that, she just senses the tension and let’s go of Scott’s hand. When the moment is over Kira is already lost in the crowd. 

He's moving on!

Scott’s not one to give up and he’s not going to leave Kira alone at a party he invited her too (character development). He turns on his Alpha-red eyes and searches the crowd. Luckily Kira is easy to spot on account of her Kitsune coating – okay so we don’t know she’s the Kitsune but her spangly shield is suspiciously fox like.

Spangly.

Stiles chases after the girl with the pink hair, she turns out to be Cailtin – her girlfriend was sacrificed for being a virgin on the night they were supposed to do it. The Stiles asked her a bunch of invasive questions and basically everything sucked for Caitlin. She seems to be doing better now, although that’s probably the alcohol. 

Concerned Stiles.

Stiles: Are you okay?

Caitlin: Yeah, I’m really drunk.

Stiles: Okay.

Drunk GIRLS!

It’s pretty clear she’s not okay and I wish we could see more about how she is dealing with the loss of the girl she loved but it’s a party and she clearly doesn’t want to talk about it. She wants to dance and Stiles is ready to accommodate her needs because he’s like that. I would also like to note that at this stage Stiles believes that Caitlin is gay, so he’s not dancing with her to get some – he’s dancing because he wants to dance.

Lydia is bored – the other twin comes to bother her but she is not interested on account of he killed Boyd. Remember. Also she is not at all impressed by his party planning skills – especially considering he planned a party on the exact spot where he killed Boyd. Seriously does no one remember that?

Lydia wants none of you Boyd killing bastard.

Lydia: If I wanted to go to a rave I’d get into a time machine and go back to the nineties.

Ouch.

While we’re on the topic of holding a rave on Boyd’s grave – this is everything that was wrong with 3A. Jeff didn’t consider the consequences or effects of his actions. You do not kill a major character on a set that you are planning to use for various purposes (unless you plan on using the angst) because it creates a stigma. The loft is a great location, and of course they want to use it as often as possible but now it’s tainted by Boyd’s death and everything that happens there is tainted by Boyd’s death. If they had thought it through, they would have killed Boyd somewhere else but it’s pretty clear that Jeff didn’t think about anything in 3A.

I love you but I hate you.

On the other side of the room Allison and Isaac are engaging in their strange angry courtship, which involves a lot of talking about Scott and surprisingly little making out. Anyway, Isaac wants to tell Scott what happened but Allison promised her day. Isaac doesn’t care about her dad and he does care about Scott, so Allison needs to come up with another reason for him to keep this secret.

The thing I love about this relationship is that they kind of don’t really like each other. They clearly care about each other and there is so much sexual tension I might spontaneously combust just watching them but they don’t seem to actually get along all that well. It’s especially noticeable when it’s placed into direct contrast with Scott and Kira – who are basically perfect for each other. Allison and Isaac want each other, but at the same time they don’t. I can’t tell if all the tension is going to end in sex or violence (hopefully both) but I want to watch every minute. 

Isaac: I don’t like keeping secrets from Scott.

Allison: No, you don’t. You just like to stand there awkwardly waiting for someone to notice us. Whatever we are. And then you like to make things incredibly uncomfortable.

Isaac: And what’s that supposed to mean?

Allison: What do you think it means?

Isaac: I think it means you’re probably mad.

Allison: I’m not mad.

Isaac: No?

Allison: No.

Isaac: Okay.

Allison: I’m frustrated.

Isaac: Sexually.

Someone toss Isaac a bone the dude is horny as fuck.

That’s accurate. They should probably just bang this whole thing out of their system already but I kind of like watching them dodge the issue so I’m hoping they hold out for a little bit longer.

Allison smiles seductively and entices Isaac towards the paint station – she unbuttons her shirt revealing a glowing pink crop underneath… woah, is it hot in here or is just me?

I WANT TO PAINT YOUR BODY!

Allison: Do you want to talk about Scott or do you want to pain my body?

Isaac: I want to pain you body.

Is both an option? Because if both was an option then I think Isaac would be in heaven and let’s face it Allison probably would too. They are both very attracted to each other but at the same time they both still love Scott. It’s a very complicated relationship. Or not, polyamory is a thing.

Lydia is standing on the sidelines looking bored – like there are a million other things she would rather be doing than standing in this room watching everyone she knows attempt to get laid.

Lydia: Finally.

Lydia: Awkwardly.

Lydia: Predictably.

Is it possible to get Lydia to narrate everyone else romantic entanglements from now on? Because I feel like it would make everything 1000% more interesting to watch (I get a little bored with the high school romance stuff sometimes, I’m too old for this shit).

Do not hurt Lydia or I will hurt you.

Lydia should probably be careful what she wishes for because being bored is probably better than getting attacked by mysterious masked firefly men, which is about to happen. The shadow monster appear, all over the room. Lydia can’t get a lock on them so she called to Scott for help.

Can we talking about Lydia calling for Scott? Because I could talk about this for hours. Remember when Lydia just wanted to use Scott to get the power she so desperately craved, because she wanted to be in complete control – now she is actually calling to Scott for help and it’s beautiful. I know it will never happen, but it would be amazing to watch these two fall in love.

Of course Lydia calling to Scott could also mean that she sensed something with her banshee bits that made her think Scott was in danger. Either way, she cares about Scott and it gives me fluffy bunny feelings on my insides.

That is not good.

Lydia runs out on to the balcony (I did not know Derek’s loft had a balcony, is that a new addition?), because it’s always a good idea to leave a room full of witness when one is about to be attacked. She thinks she’s free but then an arm reaches through the floor and it’s freaky. Before she knows it, Lydia is surrounded by the masked firefly demons and when she tries to scream one of them cuts her off with a wave of his hand. Lydia has been attacked! Lydia is down!

Danny mistakes Aiden for Ethan – proving that they really don’t matter, why are they still around. Anyway Ethan is missing, but no one except Danny cares. Because I care about Danny I care a little bit, but mostly I think Danny could do better.

Stiles is sitting on the spiral staircase that Derek uses to practice walking down stairs – Caitlin brings them a couple of beers, but she needs a bottle opener. You see that? That’s what I’m talking about. They needed Stiles to get his key out in a party. Simple solution: key ring bottle opener. You guys have no idea how much the little things matter, but they really really do.

It's the key to my liqueur cabinet.

Caitlin is apparently some kind of science genius because she can spout chemical trivia facts while she’s wasted. She notices that the mysterious key Stiles has been fussing over for the whole episode has phosphors on it. Headcanon: Caitlin is a chemistry major!

Side Note: Who do I have threaten to get replace the boring twins with Caitlin and Braeden? Because they would be an excellent attention to the cast, and they could maybe even fall in love a little? You know what I am just going to cut out a picture of each of them and stick it to the screen. Then I can just pretend they are there for all the adventures. Caitlin and Lydia talking science, Braeden and Allison talking weapons… the men are standing in the corner looking pretty. Okay, I’m going to stop now, it’s making me sad that this is not a thing.

Waiting for the day when Stiles is the kisser rather than the kissee. 

Stiles is interested by the science but soon distracted when Caitlin kisses him because hold on a second didn’t she have a girlfriend?

Stiles: I thought you liked girls?

Caitlin: I do like girls. Do you?

Stiles: Absolutely.

Caitlin: Great.

Stiles: You also like boys?

Caitlin: Absolutely. Do you?

SCREECHES INTO THE NIGHT BI!STILES!

This moment is going to be debated until the end of time and to be honest I don’t know that I can add anything to the conversation. The whole interaction was actually one of the best discussions of bisexuality I have ever seen on television and when I watched it for the first time I might have cried a little. I’m bi, it’s a big deal to see ANYONE like me on the screen.

Was it queerbaiting? Probably. Unless this is laying the groundwork for Stiles to come out as bisexual at a later date then it’s clearly just a wink at fans that read Stiles that way. A wink is not enough and it would have been the perfect moment for Stiles to end that argument once and for all. But they didn’t have to have this conversation – and it’s clearly open for interpretation. Plus it’s a huge step that Stiles is not offended by the insinuation that he likes boys. So no one should feel ashamed about being happy about this.

The best part is that no one can deny that bisexual Stiles is a valid interpretation anymore – and if he does come out later then no one can say it came out of nowhere. Keep shouting and it could happen. (Let’s bring Caitlin back and they can explore bisexuality together please).

I could watch Dylan O'Brien kissing people all day.

Caitlin kisses the confusion out of Stiles but then he remembers the key – that damn key – he needs to know about the phosphors. It’s any substance that luminesces. It’s in your teeth and fingernails in the paint that Stiles is licking of his lips (dammit Dylan I am trying not to sexualize you make it hard). They go back to making out – science and make-outs. It’s a fantasy.

But wait, how did he get phosphors on his key? Caitlin is starting to get a little annoyed, she just wants to get her make out on with a cute boy so she can forget her girlfriend was violently murdered and he is making it very hard. She asks if he’s been handling any chemicals, which he hasn’t… or maybe he has.

OH SHIT!

Stiles is really really sorry but he has to go.

Stiles: Really don’t want to. I want to stay. I would just stay all ni- I swear. But I really have to go and I don’t wanna offend you. Okay, sorry I just.

Her face is up here Stiles. 

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate that Stiles is pointing at Caitlin’s crotch when he says this – it’s probably got more to do with distraction than anything but it’s much more fun to think that Stiles is talking to her pink bits. Stiles is never going to get laid, poor kid. Before Stiles leaves, he brings Caitlin a bottle of water and tells her to drink the whole thing because he might be a dick but sometimes he’s all right.

On the roof of Derek’s building – which will now feature heavily in fan fiction – Scott and Kira are having a moment because they are not really the raving kind. Scott has a little paint on his face so Kira licks her finger and wipes it off.

Scott enjoys being mom'd.

Scott: I can’t believe you just mom’d me.

Kira: I did not mom you.

Scott: You totally mom’d me.

Kira: Okay I might have slightly mom’d you.

These two are going to give me diabetes, they are that sweet and for some reason I actually like it. Weird, because this is really not my thing. I just love the way that Scott falls in love with women. He’s such a romantic, it’s not only adorable but it also subverts a whole bunch of gender stereotypes that are prevalent in teen romance.

Cuties.

Kira: How are you so okay with all of this? I just showed you a picture that would send anyone else running the other way.

Scott: Didn’t look that bad to me.

Kira: I look like a demon from hell.

Anyone else remembering the way Allison reacted to Scott’s wolf face the first time she saw it. It puts this into perspective doesn’t it? Scott understand what it’s like to be scared of a part of yourself but he also knows that you have to learn to embrace it. He doesn’t see a demon he sees something else, he sees something beautiful.

Scott: Kind of looks like it’s protecting you. Kind of like armor. It doesn’t look like a demon to me. 

Kira: What do you think it looks like?

Scott: It looks like a fox.

Kitsune Kira. I like it, it’s alliterative.

Lots of URST with zero respect.

Contrast time: inside Allison and Isaac are getting intimate – dancing all up on each other and it looks as though they are FINALLY going to kiss when Allison notices something on Isaac’s neck. She drags him forcefully out of the party into a room with a mirror. She’s not gentle, she’s got no time for coddling and to be honest she doesn’t care that much about Isaac’s feelings unless it’s how he feels when he’s rubbing up against her.

Not a good look for you Isaac.

There is a black mark behind Isaac’s ear, like a tattoo that kind of looks like a 5. There’s a noise, Ethan is lying frozen in the corner.  

Danny is the hero of my heart. 

Danny finds Lydia in a similar state on the balcony (let’s have Lydia/Danny friendship please). The other twin carries her inside and puts her in front of the heating vent. She’s not doing so well – she has the same symbol as Isaac behind her neck. So does Ethan, and Derek – who has apparently been lying unconscious in the parking lot in front of his loft for the whole rave.

Fuck no, not Derek.

This is why it’s important to tell people you are back in town Derek. I know you an independent wolf who don’t need no pack and I am 100% here for your Eat, Pray, Love journey to self love but letting Scott know you are in town might have avoided the whole impromptu teen party in your home thing.

Derek roars – because he hear Scott listening to Katy Perry – and on the balcony Scott here’s him. Because they are brothers now and I have to go lie down until these feelings go away.

Derek walks into the rave and he is not happy. Sorry kids, Dad’s home – this party is over. Derek stomps over to the DJ. He’s stopped by security.

He's not your bro, bro.

Security: Bro, I’m sorry but The Bloody Beetroots doesn’t take requests.

Derek’s not impressed but he’s got to give the dude a chance, so he shrugs and tries to walk past him again. The security guy did not take the hint – he places his hand on Derek. So Derek places his hand around his neck. The Bloody Beetroots will take his request if he knows what’s good for him.

GET OFF MY LAWN!

Turns out his request is more conceptual than musical. Derek knocks the table over dramatically, because he can’t help himself. Then he uses his scary wolf voice to scream at every body to get out. They listen, because they don’t know that he’s actually a total teddy bear. Big scary wolf threating people my ass, he just wants someone to ask him to dance.

The only ones that don’t take the hint are the mysterious, masked, firefly demons. They came to dance and they are not ready to leave. The room empties, Danny takes Lydia with him but not before she asks for Scott one last time (FEELS).

Let them have him.

There’s a stale mate for a moment – the pack (sans Stiles, which is kind of important) stars as the masked firefly demons turn towards the other twin. It’s a dilemma, no one really cares about the other twin but they should probably help them because they’re heroes and that’s what heroes do. Still, I think everyone would be okay with letting them get Aiden. I know I would.

Because Scott is Scott, he attacks and because Scott attacked Derek attacks because they’re brothers now. Slow motion fighting happens. At one point Derek thinks he’s actually won… he’s wrong. Scott and Derek go down then Isaac has to join the fight but when firefly demon pulls a sword out of his chest Isaac decides it’s not worth it. He doesn’t even like that guy anyway.

Well this is going to be interesting. 

Everyone watches as they approach Aiden and give him a mark just like the one on Isaac, Ethan, Lydia and Derek. Whatever but then turn towards Scott (or Kira who is standing behind Scott) and that is not cool. Scott breaks out his Alpha eyes but the sun is up so the masked firefly demons fade away because they are things that go bump in the night not day.

I'm melting.

It’s kind of awkward, everyone is left standing around and no one is really sure what they should talk about first. Especially considering Kira just saw Scott’s wolf face for the first time and she seems a little freaked out. Scott decides they should focus on the demons first because that’s the easiest.

So, umm, yeah.

Scott: What the hell were those things?

Isaac: (to Allison) Your dad’s 24 hours are up.

Sometimes Isaac actually hates Allison.

His time is up indeed. Chris stumbles through his front door. There is blood on his hands and judging by his current state it’s probably his blood. His phone is ringing (it’s Allison) but he collapses on the ground before he can answer. NOOOOOOOOOO! CHRIS! We can’t lose you or your thigh holster! It would be the worst.

Prayer circle for #1 Hot Dad.

Cliffhanger: (it’s a good one). Stiles walks into the chemistry classroom. He’s got the mysterious key in his hand and he’s both surprised and not really surprised to see that it does in fact open the chemistry supply closet. The one that Barrow was hiding in.

Fragmented faces. 

Stiles turns back towards the blackboard where the coded message is still there because no one rubbed it off in two days. He writes the numbers… the handwriting matches. Stiles was the one that helped Barrow, he was the one that told Barrow to kill Kira (either that or someone really wants him to think it was him).

I both hate and love this.

Got to say, this is probably the coolest thing Teen Wolf has ever done (depending on how it plays out of course). Dark!Stiles is so exciting and I can’t wait to see what happens next. Also somebody should just kill Peter.