Monday, January 27, 2014

Recapturing Teen Wolf: Kira You're a Firework!

Previously on Teen Wolf… Kira likes Scott and her dad is super embarrassing. Derek found the magic cylinder he was looking for and Lydia is something.

Agent Asshole is at Beacon Hills Memorial Hospital – and he’s brought trouble with him of course. Also he says things like: “no one need to know except the people who absolutely need to know.” Which is just convoluted and redundant, as if I needed another reason not to like him. Asshole.

Is that Agent McCall?
Inside, Melissa is working because she’s the only person that actually works in this hospital. Well she’s not really working, she’s putting out a jack-o-lantern (I think that’s what it’s called, I’m Australian Halloween it a foreign concept for me). Anyway it’s just there to let us, the audience, know that it is in fact Halloween.

I do not like your face sir (that's a lie your face is quite nice I just don't like your character).
Enter Agent McCall and he wants to bring a prisoner that is need of medical attention – apparently he’s been turfed from the other hospital. Damn that other hospital. The Sheriff does the sexy two push (like Strider in LOTR) and he’s looking super fine – Don’t worry Sheriff Agent Asshole ain’t got nothing on you. Unfortunately the hospital still needs to treat whoever this guy is – and if the slow motion entrance is anything to go by he’s not a good guy.

Slow motion.
Melissa: Somebody needs to do his pre-op interview.
Agent McCall: Who usually does that?

Who the fuck do you think Agent Asshole? There is literally only one person that actually works in this hospital, and I know she’s amazing but she could use a day off every once in a while, like right now would be good. But instead of going home to hang out with her adorable son and his boyfriend/beta she has to go interview a serial killer. If you don’t think Melissa McCall is a superhero, you are wrong.

Look at Melissa, she's got her fists up ready to fight. 
Stiles is in the locker room at night because everyone in this god-forsaken town continually gets collective amnesia and forgets about all the terrible things that happen in the locker room at night. He’s not even shirtless, but he is on the phone to Scott so that counts for something.

Get your minds out of the gutter, all of you.
It’s tradition, they do this for to Coach on Mischief Night (the day before Halloween), which is coincidentally Coach’s birthday and Scott is trying to flake out because he’s tied. Stiles is having none of it…

Stiles: If you are not down here in 5 seconds I will destroy you okay. And I mean 5 – 4 – 3 – 2…

Hot hot hot!
Scott: One.
Stiles: I hate you.

A WILD SCOTT APPEARS, with Alpha red eyes and an adorable smirk. As if he’s going to miss out on all the pranking fun.

Back at Beacon Hills Memorial, Melissa and Agent Asshole are being very professional and not letting their past come between them when there is important exposition to get out. Also they are proving that there is nothing left between them, so there will be no rekindling of that flame any time soon (or ever at all if I have any say in the matter, which I don’t but I like to pretend). So please, tell us about the patient Agent Asshole…

Agent McCall: He’s a former electrical engineer who decided to walk onto a school but with a shrapnel bomb. It left four students dead and a fifth with no legs.

Melissa questions her life choices... again.
And no, he’s shown no sign of remorse and has in fact promised that if he was ever to get out he will do it again – this time he’ll do it right. Melissa seems super excited to hang out with this guy and I can’t really blame her, he seems like a lovely chap.

Come closer Clarice. 
Melissa stands in the corner of the room, as close to the door as she can with two officers standing stoically behind her. She’s clearly very afraid but she’s working through her fear like the consummate professional she is. The patient, called William Barrow according to his chart, is cloaked in shadows and the whole thing has a Silence of the Lambs vibe.

Super creepy.
Barrow’s got shrapnel inside him that is slowly killing him and I don’t know about you but that sounds like Karma to me. I’m guessing he got this shrapnel from the bomb he used to blow up a bunch of teenagers. You’d think he doesn’t like teenagers but that’s all he wants to talk about. He wants to know if the kids still pull pranks on the day before Halloween – that’s for the definition of Mischief Night.

Unfortunately this is hands on interview and Melissa can’t just stay standing in the corner, she has to listen to his heart or maybe she just wants to find out if he’s got one. His chest is covered in scars and as soon as Melissa is close enough to intimidate he moves out of the shadow and starts invading Melissa’s personal space. The guards don’t seem all that bothered, which is concerning.

Shouldn't the police officers do something about this?
Barrow: Why don’t you just ask the question you really want to ask?
Melissa: Why’d you do it?
Barrow: I saw their eyes. Their eyes were glowing.

Logically I knew that Barrow had to have something to do with the supernatural, but I did not see that coming. I assumed he was just your regular run of the mill murderer that was about to be co-opted by supernatural forces but the idea that he’s just someone that is just someone that happened upon the supernatural is pretty interesting. Sure he was probably already crazy if he saw glowing eyes and decided a bomb was the answer but it does pose interesting questions about how regular folk might react to an unexplainable glimpse into the supernatural underworld.

Melissa will cut you if you come near her son.
The best part about this exchange is the way Melissa’s expression changes from curious but afraid to “I will kill you if you so much as think about touching my son”. You know what, if it’s Mama McCall vs. William Barrow, I’m better on Melissa.

Barrow starts screaming about the teenagers with glowing eyes. Melissa jumps back, the interview is over. The screams cascade down the halls of the hospital before the camera lands on the jack-o-lantern from earlier. It’s eyes are glowing!

Hello- ween.
Opening Credits.

Scott on his motorbike, guard your loins and concentrate on that image because the Twins are still alive. Everyone is still trying to work out why they are around. Stiles and Isaac agree on something and even Scott isn’t nice enough to let them join in on account of that one time they helped murder Boyd. (Thanks for remembering Boyd at least once). Anyway the moral of the story is that no one wants the Twins here and they should just leave.

Most importantly this happened!
Also someone needs to stop Danny from falling back in with his ex because he deserves better that some guy that was stupid enough to dump him in the first place.

Inside the school someone throws toilet paper at Stiles face and he is not pleased. That’s his face dudes, don’t damage the merchandise. Scott is too distracted to care about possible damage to Stiles face – Kira is being completely adorable on the other side of the hallway.

Stiles, speaking for everyone, doesn’t understand what the problem is. Scott likes Kira, and they know she likes him thanks to the worlds most embarrassing dad. Scott should just ask her out. But it seems Scott still sees himself as the loser he was before he turn into a werewolf.

Stiles: Scott, I don’t think you get it yet. You’re an Alpha. Okay, you are the apex predator. Everyone wants you, you know. You’re the hot girl that every guy wants.

Anyway way you look at this Stiles is attracted to dudes. Seriously, I mean how does he know that Alpha’s are the irrespirable? cough Derek cough And he does say that EVERYONE is attracted to Scott. Everyone includes Stiles and fair enough, Scott’s an attractive man.

Scott: I’m the hot girl?
Stiles: You are the hottest girl.

Stiles shoots Scott an sincere smile to show that he is telling the truth and then Isaac arrives to back him up.

Isaac: What?
Scott: I’m the hot girl.
Isaac: Yes you are.

Scott smiles like it’s his birthday and Christmas all rolled into one because he is just that happy to be called the hottest girl and Isaac is super happy to have complimented Scott and I have to talk about how much I loved this. Because this could have been played completely differently and generally it would have been. Generally Scott would have been offended at being called a girl and/or Isaac would have laughed at Scott because he was called a girl. Either way the message is clear, being called a girl is bad thing. But this was different – and I don’t know if it was scripted or not but I really glad this played out the way it did.

Coach Cupcake enters his office with caution. He’s determined not to be taken off guard by any pranks, he’s going to have the upper hand this year. He waves his hand around, checks the shelf and the desk – then he spots it. Sitting in the middle of his desk is a small present. Carefully he opens it – before touching with a golf club first – but he’s pleased to see that the box is filled with screws.

Coach Cupcake thinks they’ve lost their touch so he starts laughing but when he picks up the box everything that’s hanging on the wall behind him goes crashing to the ground. I guess we know where those screws came from. His chair calls over.

Coach Cupcake: SON OF A BITCH  

Stiles and Scott are sitting in class waiting when they hear him scream. They both look very pleased with themselves. Especially Stiles. At least Scott has the good grace to look like he’s trying to feel bad for what happened to coach.

Coach Cupcake: Mischief Night, Devil’s Night. I don’t care what you call it. You little punks for evil. You think it’s funny every Halloween my house gets egged. A man’s house is supposed to be his castle. Mine’s a freaking omelet.

Stiles does in fact think it’s funny, he thinks it’s very funny. He’s probably happier than we have seen him since the whole werewolf debacle began. Danny also thinks it’s pretty amusing but Lydia is bored as usual. She’s probably planning world domination on her phone while the boys are playing their silly games.

There’s another present on the desk. Coach Cupcake spots it but he’s not going to fall for that again. He picks up the present tosses it on the ground and then steps on it. Scott and Stiles reaction to this sums up the different in their personalities perfectly. Scott knows that present wasn’t part of the plan so he looks confused and then he looks kind of horrified. Stiles on the other hand. Stiles thinks it hilarious even after they find out that the box held a real present: a personalized #1 Coach Mug from none other than Greenberg. Poor Greenberg.

Meanwhile, Lydia is being bothered by a fly or is she. Danny is watching her looking confused, which is probably a general state of being for him but I like to think he knows all about the supernatural and he’s actually just confused by the ridiculous excuses that they constant come out with. The point is there is no fly so where is the buzzing noise Lydia is hearing coming from?

At the hospital, Barrow is on the operating table and guess who the surgical nurse is. Melissa McCall is a woman of many talents. The Doctor makes a rather inappropriate joke about letting Barrow bleed out on the table, which means I don’t even feel bad that he’s about to die.

Something is wrong, instead of finding left over shrapnel – there is a strange, and seriously creepy pulsating tumor. Melissa thinks everyone should see this. The tumor bursts and live flies flood the room. Barrow wakes up, and stabs the inappropriate surgeon.

The rest of the medical staff flee the room with the flies and Agent Asshole and Sheriff Stilinski rush in to be heroes. Barrow is already gone, Melissa is left holding onto the bleeding surgeon because she’s an actual hero unlike every one else who run away like scared cats.

The Hales (minus Cora and everyone else who is dead) are back in Derek’s loft. Close up on Derek haphazardly sewing Peter’s finger back on so we now know that decapitated limbs don’t just magically reattach themselves.

Peter: Don’t you have any anesthetic?
Derek: Yup.

Derek’s passive aggressive protests to Peter’s general existence are one of this show’s great joys. Derek’s got way too much guilt to let Peter die but that doesn’t mean he has to be happy that he’s still alive.

Peter: Are you at least going to tell what I risked life and digit for?

No, of course not. Derek doesn’t tell people anything. He’s more hands on than that. Derek’s all about showing rather than telling. So he opens the mystery cylinder and pours it’s contents on the table. Inside are five claws that apparently belonged to Talia Hale.

Derek: After the fire, that’s all that was left of her.
Peter: Talia… I can’t decide if that’s touching or morbid.

Definitely morbid seriously someone desperately needs to force Derek to see a therapist. It’s not sentimentality though, at least not entirely, because Derek needs to ask his mom a question and this is the only way he knows how to do it. Peter looks at his hand, and then back at Derek, he is not happy with where this is going. If it involves Peter in pain then I am 100% on board. 

Back at the hospital, Melissa pulls the Sheriff aside for a parent-to-parent chat about certain teenagers they happen to know with glowing eyes and just how much danger they might be. They exchange a look, which I assume indicates that they are willing to help each other bury the body before they are interrupted by Agent Asshole. He’s not getting enough attention. Asshole.

Lydia needs to get laid. Go LYDIA! Coach’s office is not in working order at the moment so she has to relocate, which is a good thing because standing behind the door is Barrow. And because he wasn’t creepy enough already he staples his surgical wound together with a staple gun. It’s equal parts disgusting and also kind of badass. He then laughs about it, which is just weird.

The police are at the school and Stiles is worried. Agent Asshole is on the case but consider his track record that is not reassuring at least the Sheriff knows that he’s in over his head. The Sheriff knows there is no point keeping it from Stiles because he would just get himself into trouble trying to find the information on his own. So he explains that it’s not looking good for Beacon Hills High’s friendly neighborhood werewolf pack.

The McCall pack is on the case and they are working together (sans Scott) in that way that makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

Stiles: No one knows how he woke up from the anesthesia, just that when they opened him up they found a tumor full of live flies, which in any other circumstance would actually be all kinds of awesome.

If Stiles ever loses his morbid curiosity you know that all hope is lost. So for the moment we are all right. Thank goodness Stiles is interested in live flies bursting out of a guys stomach. I was going to rant about how that was not awesome but let’s face it, it’s totally awesome. Except for the murder part, that part is less awesome.

Lydia’s all, hang on a tick, did you say flies? Because it’s probably not a confidence that she has been haunted all day by a strange buzzing sound that sounds suspiciously like flies. Allison’s got her back and I am super excited that Lydia and Allison actually spoke to each other this week!

Kira is showing her dad the spangly new Nokia because of product placement reasons. Really though, what is Teen Wolf without a weekly phone tutorial! Mr Yukimura doesn’t understand why everyone doesn’t love Kira (same dude) she should be hanging out with all her friends not eating lunch in a classroom with her dorky yet endearing dad.

Mr Yukimura: You must have some friends by now?
Kira: I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I had a lot of friends back on but here it’s like every time I open my mouth I just start rambling like an idiot.

Mr Yukimura quotes some Samuel (Yoda) Beckett and give his daughter a derivative of the “there’s plenty more fish in the sea” speech. Some is bound to show an interest, perhaps someone with adorably cute puppy dog eyes.

Kira: The only one who’s shown any interest in me is a rabid coyote.
Mr Yukimura: Maybe you could date the coyote.

Two things. One: Mr Yukimura has gone from a clichĂ© to totally adorable, I really hope he’s not even. Two: If there is not an influx of Kira/Malia femslash after that line I will be so disappointed in you fandom.

Scott is listening outside the door as Kira says that she’s not interested in dating anyone. He’s going to have to work out sooner or later that it’s not a good idea to listen in to people’s conversations and take things out of context. It only ends in trouble.

Stiles runs down the hallway towards Scott remind everyone that Dylan’s fluid movements are the thing of beauty. Lydia is there too. I’m not sure where she came from but there are here to catch Scott up on the Scott up on the whole escaped serial killer going after kids with glowing eyes debacle. The police are leaving the building, which is bad thing because Lydia’s banshee senses are telling her that Barrow is still there.

Buzz buzz buzzzzz!

The Sheriff is following Agent Asshole off school grounds when Stiles catches up with him. They can’t leave because Lydia said that Barrow is still at the school. Only she didn’t actually see him, she just has a feeling… but it’s supernatural feeling so that has to count for something right?

Sheriff: Lydia wasn’t on the chessboard.
Stiles: She is now.
Sheriff: Kanima?
Stiles: Banshee.

That’s the Sheriff’s supernatural limit for the day. He’s got flies coming out of people now the nice girl Stiles has a crush on is actually a wailing woman. There’s only so much a grown man can handle in one go. I just desperately love watching the Sheriff comprehend the supernatural because he probably has the most natural reaction. Like he doesn’t believe it, but then he wants to believe his son and he’s seen things but he’d still rather not believe it because it’s fucking insane.

Stiles: I know how it sounds but basically it means that she can sense when someone’s close to death.
Sheriff: Can she sense that I’m about to kill you?
Stiles: I don’t know.

Stiles seems genuinely concerned too – he looks intently at Lydia as she waves at his father like he’s trying to work out whether or not she can sense his impending death. Also the Sheriff is totally charmed by Lydia, understandably.

The problem is that the Sheriff can’t really ignore a possible eyewitness because a supernatural teenage girl has a feeling. It’s not that he doesn’t believe Stiles, it’s just that he’s got to draw the line somewhere and at the moment eyewitness trumps banshee. They are leaving a couple of deputies and the school is on lock down, that’s the best he can do.

Stiles: Leaving me here. That is not the bes- that is the worst.

Don’t worry Stiles, it’s only episode 3 – they are not going to kill a major character until the end of the season… probably.

The school is on lock down so of course Melissa turns up with a bag of clothes that belonged to Barrow. I don’t know which deputies the Sheriff had guarding the place but they should probably be fired. Melissa makes Scott promise that he will be careful and he does but it still breaks my heart every time Melissa has to let her son go do something dangerous for the greater good.

Scott and Isaac – plus 2 others – are going to use the scent from the clothes to track down Barrow. They got this. Excellent Alpha-ing Scott.

Allison is escaping through the window – because the school is on “Lock Down” – she’s going to go and check the bestiary. It could take her all night – considering she doesn’t understand archaic Latin I think it could take longer than one night but Lydia has armed her with the Latin word for fly so she should be fine. 

Let the search commence – Lydia and Stiles are upstairs and the wolves are in the basement where Scott and Isaac are having a heart-to-heart about how much the twins suck. Scott tells Isaac to look on the bright side, Barrow might kill them. Isaac is pretty happy about that.

Danny is making out with his ex. Dammit Danny, I know you’re lonely because the last guy you were seeing ditched for two weeks without a word (and was also a known killer) but you can do better.

Side Note: If you think Ethan has a right to be angry with Danny then you are wrong. Ethan entered into the relationship under false pretenses, continually lied to Danny and then ditched him without a word. Plus we don’t even know if they were exclusive. Ethan has no rights here, he should probably just leave.

Lydia and Stiles are searching the upstairs classrooms – which are inexplicitly empty even though school is currently in session. Stiles mentions that the wolves are going to meet up in the boiler room… ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? THE BOILER ROOM? WHY IN ALL THAT IS HOECHLIN’S ABS WOULD YOU GO ANYWHERE NEAR THE BOILER ROOM!

Lydia: All of the wolves, all of the ones with glowing eyes are in the basement at the boiler room?

The boiler room is basically a bomb waiting to happen and they just sent the victims to the slaughter. They have to get everyone out, and there is only one way to do that.

Stiles pull the fire alarm and he is very happy about it (I bet it was on his bucket list). Lydia is happy that Stiles is happy until she’s not happy anymore. Stiles is telepathically saying: “Coach is standing right behind me isn’t he?” I don’t know about fancy new fangled fire alarms but aren’t you supposed to pull that lever and get fuck out so that no one knows it was you. I certainly don’t think it’s very good idea to stand there holding it. Damn it Stiles and Lydia, you’re supposed to be the smart ones.

Coach Cupcake drags Stiles outside by his ear – which I’m pretty sure is child abuse – but it’s not like this school really cares about its students.

Coach Cupcake: Pulling a fire alarm on Mischief Night is one thing, doing it when there’s a mass murderer spotted near by is insane. If I were four years younger I’d punch you.
Stiles: What, that doesn’t make any sense.

When has anything Coach said ever made any sense Stiles? His purpose is to make no sense. I’m pretty sure he took too many drugs when he was younger. He’s basically a walking cautionary tale. They have more important things to worry about. Lydia grabs Stiles hands and drags him off to find Scott.

Unfortunately Scott didn’t find anything and it has nothing to do with the fact that he was too busy making out with Isaac in the basement. That’s probably not accurate but we will never know so let’s just assume it happened. Anyway, there was no sign of Barrow, not even a scent and if there was a bomb he would have set it off by now. Lydia is very upset but this whole turn of events.

Of course Kira is still inside listening to her headphones at a crazy volume level that blocks out the sound of the alarm entirely. Luckily, Coach finds her before Barrow does but it was a close call because as Kira flees Barrow can be seen watching her. Oh no!

Meanwhile back at Derek’s loft – Derek is passive aggressively putting the claws into the cylinder. He’s in some kind of stand-off with Peter because he doesn’t want to help and Derek doesn’t care about Peter’s feelings on account of that one time he killer his sister. Peter might be willing to help, as long as there is something in it for him, which basically sums up his character and I’m pretty sure Derek already figured that he’d want something in return for his services.

Peter wants Talia’s claws, for sentimental value. Total bullshit of course and considering Peter wants them I don’t think anything good can come out of Peter having those claws. But Derek doesn’t really have a choice – I reckon he’s banking on someone killing Peter before he does whatever it is he’s planning to do.

Derek stands and walks away as Peter hovers over the cylinder because he just can’t stand looking at his face anymore. Also he’s probably a little nervous/excited to talk to his mom – maybe that’s why he chose to wear his one pair of baggy jeans. He doesn’t want his mom to think he’s a total slut walking around in his tight pants and dropping them for every evil lady that asks.

Side note: Congrats Hoechlin, you finally got a break from the tight pants! As a girl I have to say that I have zero sympathy for your clothing problems but I am glad you’re happy.

Peter takes too long to do the thing do Derek helps him along because he’s helpful like that. It’s so lovely to see Peter in pain. More of that please.

Mr Yukimura arrives home – Kira is already there and in her daggy after school clothes. She is certainly not prepared to be seen by any possibly future romantic interests… like Scott. Who is at the door looking completely adorable because Mr Yukimura invited him for what he likes to call the thank you for saving my daughter from becoming a coyote dinner, dinner.

That’s a nice idea dad but a little warning would been good. Kira kind of squeaks and runs away to make herself cute and Scott looks very confused about the situation – he thought she already looked cute.

At the dinner table, Mrs Yukimura is gushing about her husbands culinary skills because Scott, as a native Californian, must have tasted some impressive Japanese sushi. Scott looks like a fish out of water when Mr Yukimura places the plate of sushi in front of him.

Mrs Yukimura: You’ve eaten sushi before have you?

Kira is very upset, they were supposed to have lasagna but Mr Yukimura is trying to show off to Scott and I’m starting to get confused. Does he want to date Scott? Because it’s starting to get a little weird. 

Scott is amazing though, seriously he is just the guy you want to settle down with. I’m a commitment phobe and I kind of want to marry him. Even though he has never tried sushi and he seems to be more terrified of it than he has been of anything that has tried to kill him, he’s going to give it a shot because he likes Kira.

Poor Scott doesn’t even know how to use chopsticks so Kira has to help him and oh I see what you’re doing now Mr Yukimura. Nothing makes people fall in love like one of them helping the other use chopsticks. It’s one of the staples of the “falling in love” montage. Mrs Yukimura is totally onto you, she knows that you are basically trying to be Sebastian from The Little Mermaid.

In Stiles bedroom, Lydia is lying on the bed as Stiles works on his crime wall (detective wall – IDK what we are calling that wall but whatever it is it’s not heathly). Next to Lydia are a bunch of different colored strings, which Stiles is using to make connections on his crime wall.

Lydia: What do the different colored strings me?
Stiles: They’re just different stages of the investigation. So like green is solved. Yellow is to be determined. Blue’s just pretty.
Lydia: What does red mean?
Stiles: Unsolved.
Lydia: You only have red on the board.
Stiles: Yes I’m aware of that thank you.

I really really love these two working together, they’re banter is amazing and even though I will always choose to see Lydia with Allison over Stiles I am really enjoying their evolving relationship. Also, there are only two reasons a girl will lay on a guys bed like that. Either she wants to have sex or she sex is so far off the table that she hasn’t even thought about it. I think that the show is probably going for the former but in this instance it felt like the latter (not to say that it can’t change just at the moment Lydia is not trying to get into Stiles pants).

It’s actually a testament to the way this relationship has evolved because even Stiles is not making it about sex. Every other time Stiles and Lydia have been in each other’s bedrooms Stiles has been flustered and awkward, which indicates that he’s probably thinking about sex. This time there is none of that, Stiles is completely comfortable and that’s nice.

Lydia asks Stiles if he got detention for pulling the fire alarm, he did – every day this week (I think he got off lightly considering). Lydia starts to wrap the red string around her finger as though she is an unsolved mystery. She’s upset because she can’t seem to unlock her powers and that is making her feel pointless. Stiles notices she’s upset and stops what he’s doing to comfort her (after they have done dating I am going to need them to be best friends for life okay).

Lydia: No scent. No bomb. I got you into trouble. 

Vulnerable Lydia is my favorite thing and I love that she is willingly showing this side of herself to Stiles.

There has been a lot said about the red sting – a lot of people are connecting it to the red string of fate and that makes sense. But within the context of the show and this scene specifically it’s definitely connected to the idea of an unsolved mystery. Lydia is the mystery and Stiles is the one that is going to solve it (I don’t really like that idea – I hope it’s more Stiles helping Lydia solve her own mystery) – it’s backed up by the fact that Stiles is holding a GREEN pen while he’s unraveling Lydia’s red string. 

Stiles takes the red string that is wound around Lydia’s finger and begins to unwind it. If she thinks Barrow was there, then he was there and he would go back to the school right now to prove it if she wants. That idea awakens something in Stiles – they have to go back to the school now.

Allison is still going through the bestiary when she hears a noise, like someone is trying to get into the apartment. She tenses up, listening for further signs of danger. There’s a high-pitched yelp and Allison relaxes immediately and goes back to looking at the bestiary.

Isaac appears in the doorway, trying to look smooth but Allison knows he just yelped like a puppy so it’s not working… okay it’s working a little.

Isaac: Electrified the windows?
Allison: Yup.
Isaac: Didn’t want to say anything about it?
Allison: Nope.

Allison, try to deny it all you want, we all know you want all up on that and really who can blame you. Isaac is there to help Allison with the research, even though he doesn’t understand archaic Latin either. He can look at pictures though – like the creepy red demon mask that will no doubt be relevant at a later date.

Back at the loft Derek is about to be in a lot of pain – for something new and different – Peter is very happy about inflicting the pain. Derek doesn’t care either way he just wants to see his mom.

At the awkward family dinner 3.0 the Yukimura’s are giving us some backstory. They moved to Beacon Hills from New York because Mrs Yukimura has family ties here – several generations. Yukimura is a Japanese name but Mr Yukimura is actually Korean. When they married, he took her family name because she was the only surviving member of her family. They didn’t take both names because they were married in Japan where the law says that the couple must share the same name.

Here’s the thing – I want to be able to give Teen Wolf some credit here because they chose to acknowledge Kira’s heritage rather than just having her pass as Japanese. And I also understand that they were trying to invert gender stereotypes (Mr Yukimura takes his wife’s name and he does the cooking). The problem is that in doing so they have ignored the seriously problematic history between Japan and Korea, which is not good. Mr Yukimura taking a Japanese name and embracing Japanese culture has imperialistic undertones. So very very problematic.

For the purposes of enjoyment though, let’s assume that both Mr and Mrs Yukimura were aware of the implications of their choices but still made the decision to take Yukimura as their name. Mr Yukimura just loves his wife that much, Scott understands that. He’s totally ready to take Kira’s name.

Anyway, apparently the Yukimura lineage is quite unique  - Mr Yukimura was going to talk about it in class, which Kira does not want. I want that though because I am generally curious about the family history but alas we will have to wait to find out because Scott just ate all his wasabi in one go.

Kira: Scott what happened to your wasabi?
Scott: I thought it was guacamole.

Stiles and Lydia are at the school… at night… looking for a serial killer because that is not the stupidest idea that anyone has ever had in all of history. But I give up. Go to the school at night, see if I care. Except I do care god damn it. I care too much about this stupid show and these stupid characters and what is my life?

But I digress. Lydia and Stiles head to the chemistry supply closet, because of course Barrow used the smell of the chemicals to mask his scent. There’s no way Scott could have found him, so he doesn’t need to feel bad (he doesn’t feel bad because he thought that it was a perfect time to go hang out with his new love interest). There’s blood on the ground. Apparently Barrow was performing minor surgery on himself. Lovely.

As they exit the room Stiles is suddenly wearing a different shirt – which has become a big thing in the fandom. And you know what I want you guys to be right because if this shirt turns out to be subtle foreshadowing ahead of the big reveal that Stiles has been asleep and/or possessed for half the season I would be blown away. But this is Teen Wolf so I’m going to assume it’s a continuity error until proven otherwise.

What is actually strange is that Lydia spots some random numbers on the board. They are apparently atomic numbers that equate to elements. It’s not a formula – or at least not one she recognizes. She writes out the corresponding letters and it spells Kira.

Now if this is Barrow leaving a helpful handy tip for the people that are looking for him then it is literally the stupidest thing ever. Why would he do that? It doesn’t make any sense. But imagine for a moment that Teen Wolf has miraculously become a fantastically written show that cares about the details. Because what if Barrow did not write those numbers? What if someone left those numbers for Barrow? Suddenly things are much more interesting.

Meanwhile, Derek is in dream land as shown by the purple tinge and the nemeton that is currently residing in the middle of the loft. Mama Hale enters in wolf form and Derek looks like he’s going cry, which is understandable because he’s looking at his dead mom. That’s an occasion for crying. We don’t get to see the actual conversation because it would be too much for our hearts to handle.

At the Yukimura’s Scott calls his mom to tell her all about how he ate sushi for the first time, also he has a very important question to ask her.

Scott: How come you never changed your name back to Delgado?
Melissa: Do you mean why you did I keep your father’s name? Because it’s your name too honey.

Perfect response to a truly difficult question – yet another reason why Melissa McCall is the greatest mother on TV. Scott seems to feel much better and I just can’t believe that this relationship exists. It’s amazing.

Kira enters the room – she comes bearing gifts of pizza and Pepsi! Scott is very happy, no offence to the sushi. Kira understands, they probably should have started him on California rolls. And for future reference fan fiction authors: Scott likes pineapple on his pizza. I am hoping for a lot of fics where Scott and Kira bond over pizza toppings.

At the Argent Apartment, Allison and Isaac have relocated from the office to the bedroom but they still haven’t found anything – except a hell of a lot of UST and some stuff about flies carrying messages from the dead. Isaac decides that study time is over it’s time to move on to the “study” portion of the evening. He leans in and it looks like they are going to kiss until Allison pulls back, I swear to goodness that girl is her own worst enemy.

Allison: Are you serious?
Isaac: What?
Allison: You were just trying to kiss me?
Isaac: No I wasn’t.
Allison: Then what were you trying to do? Headbutt me?
Isaac: All right maybe I was trying to kiss you.

Allison smiles for a moment because she won that round but then it’s back to the game.

Allison: Are you completely, totally, out of your mind. You actually think that I would want to kiss you? Or any other werewolf again. Because trust me on this, I would never. Kiss you. Ever.

Isaac stands and it’s game on.

Isaac: I don’t want to kiss you either.

He pulls his shirt over his head and looks down at his totally bangable bod as though he daring Allison to resist, which is pretty accurate actually. Not to be out done, Allison pulls of her own top and stares Isaac down. Two can play at that game.

I think I must be the only person that actually loved this scene. Don’t get me wrong I understand the consent issues, Allison very clearly said no and what Isaac does can be seen as sexually aggressive. But for me it just fits so well with their characters. Allison is such a contradiction – she’s desperate to be the person that she wants to be, but at the same time she still wants to be the person her mother wanted her to be and she’s absolutely terrified of giving in to what she wants. But she is neither the good little girl nor the perfect hunter. She’s got a bad side but she’s too scared she’ll turn into Kate to embrace it, but she will never be able to resist a challenge.

Before things can get really interesting they are interrupted by Papa Argent – the best entrance of the season so far, hands down. He’s not exactly pleased to see his daughter in a compromising position.

Chris Argent: Allison can I see you in my office… where I keep my guns.

Everyone looks incredibly uncomfortable but Allison does as her father asks.

Christ Argent: (off screen) ANOTHER WEREWOLF?

Back at the loft of death – aka Derek’s home – Derek has come out of his trance/mother-son bonding time. Peter asks if Talia said anything about him and if the look Derek gives him is anything to go by the answer is yes and it whatever she said was not very nice. Hopefully Talia told Derek to kick Peter out because he’s a manipulative bastard that should not be allowed alone with Derek ever.

Kira and Scott are saying goodbye, she’s walking him to his bike because she’s a gentleman like that.

Kira: You seem like a really nice guy and not just because you kept me fom getting eaten by a coyote.
Scott: Did I do something else?
Kira: Yeah, you remembered mu name.

I am getting a toothache just thinking about these two, they are too cute. Also three cheers for Scott – he didn’t get upset about being called a ‘nice guy’ because he’s not a dickwipe.

The Scott is hit over the back of the head by Barrow and the cute, flirty fun times are over. That was quick, but this is Beacon Hills – no one gets to live happily ever after in this town.

Stiles and Lydia stand over Scott as he comes too. They know that Barrow got Kira but they have no idea where he took her. Well Lydia does have an idea but she has no idea how to translate it.

Lydia: I feel like I can do this but I don’t know what to do. It’s like it’s on the tip of my tongue and I don’t know how to trigger it. I swear to god it literally makes my want to scream.

That’s it, that’s the key. Lydia has to scream to unlock her powers. I have mentioned before how cool it is that perpetual damsel in distress Lydia has power in her scream. Screaming is basically the symbol of a weak woman and it’s been turned on its head. I love that.

When Lydia stops screaming the buzzing has returned – this time she realizes that it’s not flies, it’s electricity. Barrow was an electrical engineer, at a substation that just happens to be near by. Either that or they have a worm hole to help them travel vast distances in a matter of minutes.

Kira is tied to a fence; she’s distressed, while Barrow gets a little sparky. I mean literal sparks – he’s going to electrocute her. But first he wants to take a picture with her fancy new camera. Everyone is obsessed with the Nokia. I think it’s about time for a villain speech – take it away Barrow.

Barrow: Did you ever seen a move called Village of the Damned? The original not the remake. Nobody cares about crappy remakes [blah blah blah – movie reference – blah blah blah – eyes glowing – blah blah blah – no one likes me – blah blah blah – people are parlayed – blah blah blah] I am going to galvanize them.

That is probably the most awkward title drop ever on Teen Wolf and there have been a lot of awkward title drops. He probably shouldn’t have wasted so much time being poetic because now Scott and Stiles are here. McCall pack to the rescue. Lydia has to wait in the car because Stiles only has one bat. It makes sense, but Lydia is still a little bit pissed about being left out of the action.

Actual hero Scott McCall to the rescue… he automatically gets electrocuted but at least he tried. Go Scott. Stiles runs down a hallways but never makes it to where Kira is being held. Scott tries to tell Barrow that he’s the one he wants but he seems pretty convinced it’s Kira and it becomes clear why when he finally touches her with the live wire.

Kira doesn’t die. Barrow does. Or at least I think he does. Kira somehow starts to absorb the sparks of electricity into her body. Kira is definitely supernatural. But I guess we will have to wait until next week to find out. Oh and she drained the whole towns power. So that’s something.

Cliffhanger: Isaac is alone in Allison’s room (kudos for sticking around) when the lights start to flicker and then go out. He’s not alone in the room – there are creepy masked demons surrounding him. Outside the room Allison and Chris hear Isaac screaming but they can’t get into the room. DUN DUN DUN!

To be continued…