Friday, December 21, 2012

Recap-turing Teen Wolf: The Pen of Destiny

If you haven't heard already, I'm doing an epic Teen Wolf re-watch in preparation for Season 3 and I want you to join me. Whether or not you have experienced this programme before or not you should join all the fun! If you're unsure about watching click here for 10 reasons why you should (also check the picture above). 

Anyway here's my recap of Wolf Moon - so re-watch, review and then let me know what you love and hate about this shows humble beginnings. 

It’s night, in what I can only assume is the small town of Beacon Hills (although I don’t actually know that Beacon Hills is that small its just that these kind of horror movies always take place in a smallish town. I can however tell that it is night because of the dark). Anyway ominous noises can be herd as the police organize some kind of search party through the woods. Yup this is pretty much the start of every teen horror film ever, everyone should probably stay indoors.

Yes, I was right, because now we’re heading through a suburban window to some youthful rock music – run, run as fast as you can because someone is going to start hacking people to pieces any minute.

Meet Scott he’s just your average teenage boy with the body of a Greek statue, he’s just hanging out stringing his – umm is it called a Lacrosse stick? I have no idea, I’m going to call it a lacrosse stick anyway because I’m pretty sure you know what I mean by that. Anyway Scott is stringing his lacrosse stick and then casually doing some pull ups and sorry what was I talking about oh yes, Scott.

Cue suspicious noises, that’s right we’re in a horror movie and because we are in a horror movie Scott decides it’s a good idea to go investigate said suspicious noise that came from outside the relative safety of his house. Unfortunately he decides to put some clothes on first, so obviously he’s not super concerned about his investigation. He’s also got himself a baseball bat for protection as he stalks alone his front porch.

A wild Stiles appears!

Scott wasn’t answering his phone, what’s a best friend to do? Apparently they are supposed to turn up at said friends house, climb onto his roof and then drop down in front of him when he least expects it. Stiles is not anticipating the baseball bat though and he’s very concerned by it. Scott explains his thought process though, he thought Stiles was a predator, thus the bat.

This is where it gets good, up until now this episode is basically a series of teen horror clichés (also shirtless Tyler Posey)… but then Stiles. Arms flailing all over the place as he dangles upside-down from the roof for just that little bit too long. Seriously I’m not entirely sure that Dylan O’Brien knows how to control his body at all, but I’m not complaining because it’s amazing to watch. One short exchange later and I am totally in love with Stiles.

Two joggers found a body (yes Scott a dead body not a body of water) in the woods, Stiles being the morbid asshole that he is excited by this news. The best part, according to Stiles, is that they only found half the body, which means that the other half of the body is out there just waiting to be found. He’s here to collect Scott so they can head out into the dark dangerous woods and conduct their own investigation.

So they head out to Beacon Hills preserve, or should I say Stiles drags a rather reluctant Scott out to Beacon Hills preserve to search for a dead body. Scott would rather stay at home and work on his abs I mean get some rest in preparation of lacrosse practice in the morning because he’s determined to make first line. Stiles thinks this is ridiculous – there is no way Scott is making first line. He’s kind of a dick about it actually, but then Stiles does some pretty dickish things.

As stupid as their activity is, I just really love this conversation between Scott and Stiles here. It suggests, without being obvious about it, that this is something that happens a lot. Not the dead body in the woods, because that’s obviously an exciting novelty but Stiles dragging Scott out of the house late on a school night to have some kind of crazy adventure – that usually doesn’t end up being all that adventurous, I think that happened a fair bit. We tend to talk a lot of game about other relationships on this show, but it’s really all about Scott and Stiles.

Anyway, Stiles gets a bit overly enthusiastic and Scott has to slow down because he’s a severe asthmatic (not for much longer). Stiles gets himself caught by the police search party which is led by his father, who is not exactly happy to see Stiles out in the woods. Stiles lies telling the Sheriff he’s alone – Scott for some reason decides to go along with Stiles story keeping out of the Sheriffs sight. This is probably the stupidest thing anyone has ever done, who decides to stay in the woods at night where there may or not be a murderer on the loose rather than taking a police escort home. I wish I could say that this is the stupidest decision Scott will make, but that is a lie.

It’s super lucky that Scott decides to make this short-sited decision though because otherwise there would be no Teen Wolf.

Scott is wandering around the woods when he’s almost trampled by a herd of deer Mufusa style. He drops his inhaler (remember the asthma) and when he looks for it he finds a dead body instead. He falls over; rolls down a hill and just when he thinks things can’t get any worse he’s attacked and bitten by a werewolf. I don’t know what you did in a past life Scott, but it wasn’t good. 

Can we talk about this werewolf bite for a minute because there is something about it that has always weirded me out. Why does he get bitten on the hip? I mean that’s a pretty intimate (not to mention sexy) place to bite someone. And it’s not just that because he doesn’t get bitten through his clothes. His close are fully intact when he stumbles out of the woods and checks his wound. So whoever bit him would have had to lift up his layers of clothing to do it… does that give anyone else bad touch feelings?

Also Scott, you just got bit by a wild animal there is a giant gaping wound on your hip you should probably go to the hospital or something. Or you know you could just ignore it…. That’s cool too.


High School – this is a show about teenager after all. Scott rides a bike and Jackson drives a Porsche. Jackson, in case you can’t tell, is obviously Scott’s nemesis and the high schools resident dickhead jock. Also if the way he hit Scott in the ass with his car door is anything to go by there is a fair amount of ho yay between the two of them.

Scott decides to seek medical attention after all from… Stiles. At least you’re consistent in your decision-making skills Scott. After Scott finishes telling Stiles about the evening’s adventures (you know all the things that happened after Stiles left Scott stranded in the woods). Stiles tells Scott that he couldn’t possibly have heard a wolf, there are no wolves in California… Stiles is just excited that Scott found the body, which is the best thing to happen to this town since Lydia Martin (and Lydia Martin was pretty fricken amazing).

In class, as the teacher is explaining that the police have a suspect in custody, Scott here’s something strange, a ringing phone. Okay so maybe that’s not strange in itself but the ringing is not coming from inside the room. Scott eventually locates the call, it’s coming from outside the window and it’s definitely not within the range of normal human hearing. If this happened to me I would be super freaked out but Scott is more concerned by the girl that answers the phone… it’s Allison Argent.

Remember that name, Allison, because she’s about to become the most important think in Scott’s life (with the possible exception of his mother).

It’s Allison’s first day at Beacon Hills high and she forgot a pen, luckily for her she’s heading to Scott’s English class and he’s got a pen ready (he will never let her go without a pen ever again). She doesn’t appear freaked out by the fact that Scott knows she needs a pen without her saying anything so my guess is it’s love at first sight. Sorry, it’s love at first pen.

Scott continues his stalking into the hallway, he watches Allison from afar as she is recruited to the popular group by Lydia. I really want to know more about this because why does Lydia want to be friends with Allison so badly? It’s the dimples isn’t it? But this is Scott’s show so we only get a superficial reason from Stiles – she’s hot and beautiful people herd together.

The weirdest part about this scene is that Stiles and Scott are talking to a girl we never hear from or see again… she disappears into the depths of Beacon Hills or Scott and Stiles forget they were friends with her. Sometimes I think about her and wonder if she is all right. Not for long though because there are werewolf things happening.

Lydia is invites Allison to a party on Friday night, but Allison makes some silly excuse about family night… clearly she’s just not keen on watching Lydia and Jackson make out for the entire evening (which is all they seem to do). Allison thinks free but Lydia grabs her and forces her to come watch lacrosse practice. I’m with you Allison, that sounds like the most boring waste of an afternoon ever, but it’s pretty much easier to do what Lydia wants you to do.

Stiles is till pissed off that Scott is insisting on trying for first line – if he plays then who will sit on the bench with Stiles? Are you really going to do that to your best friend Scott?

Apparently he is, but everyone’s favourite lacrosse coach, Bobby Finstock, has an idea that might get in the way of Scott’s plan. He wants Scott to play goal, even though he’s never played it before, just so he can give the ‘real’ players (like Jackson) a bit of a confidence boost. It looks like it’s going to work when Scott is distracted by Allison’s arrival taking a ball to the face (do they call it a ball in lacrosse – I clearly need to find me a resident lacrosse expert).  That is of course before we remember that he was bitten by a werewolf last night and now has all kinds of supernatural sporting skills.

Scott catches shot after shot, Coach Finstock is in shock, Stiles is ecstatic (seriously Dylan control your body) and even Lydia is impressed… Jackson on the other hand does not take Scotts new skills that well. He’s going to go all slow motion on Scott’s ass, but he still can’t compete with Scott’s new supernatural abilities. Scott wins!

Back in the woods (because it worked out so well last time) Scott is telling Stiles all about his new powers – super hearing, super lacrosse and super scent – Scott is pretty sure he’s dying. Stiles, of course, makes fun of him suggesting that he has an infection called lycanthropy (hilarious right?) that only affects him once a month… on the full moon and then he howls and it’s adorable (can I keep him please?). 

Scott has somehow managed to locate the spot he came across accidently in the dark but the body is gone… Stiles is upset but Scott is just worried the killer stole his inhaler because those things cost like $80.


Derek lurks in the distance and stares intently at Scott and Stiles… because clearly that’s how you make friends. Clad in a leather jacket with a stance that suggests he his feet have never actually met, with a scowl that would make small children cry, I guess Derek isn’t really trying to make friends.

Stiles flails, Scotts tries to be macho, Derek tells them that they are trespassing on private property, throws Scott his inhaler and then disappears into thin air.  Stiles mouth remains open for a good thirty seconds after Derek’s dramatic exit but Scott is less impressed, he has to get to work. Stiles is all that was Derek Hale, his family all burned to death in a fire about ten years ago… well that explains his antisocial behaviour a little I guess. It was nice of him to give Scott his inhaler though.

Stiles your mouth is obscene!

Cut to – animal clinic. Of course Scott works an animal clinic, he would look after sick animals, he’s got that nasty hero complex that is going to get him into trouble now that he has the superpowers to back it up (in case you forgot that Scott is now a werewolf, the cats go crazy to remind you) all he needs now is a damsel in distress.

Oh hi there Allison, you look mighty distressed, you wouldn’t be in need of a hero would you… oh and it’s raining too, how perfect.

Allison hit a dog because she was playing with her iPod while driving (naughty) but she brought the dog straight to the animal clinic so that makes up for it I guess. Scott takes the dog inside after taming him with his wolfiness. Once inside Scott explains that watching the doctor do something a couple of times is basically the equivalent of going to veterinary school. He proceeds to fix up the poor dog but not before offering Allison a shirt from his bag, a shirt that looks like it’s been in his bag for quite some time. Allison takes the dirty shirt though just so she can stand behind a door with a glass window and change. Scott she wants you to look so go right ahead.

After Allison has performed her impromptu strip show – not that I am judging because she likes Scott and she can do whatever she wants, I’m just saying that if she didn’t want him to see she could have moved over a little – and Scott has fixed up the poor dog they get mushy. Allison is not a girly girl but Scott is and he actually wipes an eyelash from her cheek, I might vomit. I know they’re teenagers and they are all into love and romance and stuff but really that was a bit twee. It worked though because Allison agrees to go to the party with Scott admitting that family night was a lie (again she’s not worried that Scott knows things that he really shouldn’t, apparently stalking is hot).

Then it’s time for that teen romance stable – Scott falls back onto his bed and smiles indicating that he is indeed in love (he has to be shirtless in the scene because of reasons)… which is all very well and good until he wakes up in the woods.

Scott’s chased through the woods by some kind of monster – it’s pretty safe to assume it’s probably a werewolf – and for some reason he ends up in a pool? Oh right there is a reason for that, Tyler Posey looks fantastic when he is half naked but even better when he is both half naked and wet.

Locker room fun, it’s about time Jackson confronted Scott because there has not been anywhere near enough ho-yay in this episode… and it doesn’t disappoint because Jackson feels the need to get all up in Scott’s personal space to have his little confrontation, which goes a little something like this:

Jackson: Where are you getting your juice?
Scott: My mom does all the grocery shopping.

The look on Scotts face when he realizes that Jackson is talking about steroids is priceless, oh puppy. Then Jackson asks him what’s up and he just spills everything... this is the moment I fell in love with Teen Wolf.  Scott just vents it all to Jackson simply because he asked and after he’s done he sighs because talking about it made him feel a whole lot better. Of course Jackson doesn’t believe him but it’s nice to have hero that doesn’t automatically assume that everything should be kept a secret.

Out on the lacrosse field Stiles has something very important to tell Scott but Scott is too worried about making first line… probably should listen to Stiles though because the labs came back and they found wolf hairs on the body. Seems there are wolves in California after all (or should I say werewolves).

It’s too late now because Coach Finstock has begun his inspirational speech tryouts are about to begin and this time it’s personal, between Jackson and Scott I mean. Poor Jackson just can’t compete with Scott’s wolfy gymnastics – congratulations Scott you made first line! Allison was watching and everything… Scott’s happy face is the best face. Scott’s happy face is then cancelled out by Stiles worried face. I think this calls for some research.

Stiles does whatever the MTV equivalent of a Google search is… searching things like lycon, wolfsbane and silver. Verdict is Scott’s a werewolf. When Scott turns up Stiles room looks like a research bomb has hit it, he’s also talking at like a million different miles an hour on about six different topics at once so it kind of make sense when Scott asks how much Adderall Stiles has had today… evidently it’s a lot.

Stiles dad has been questioning suspects… even Derek Hale (I just love it when Stiles says Derek’s name). Remember the jokes about the werewolves, it’s not a joke, and Scott doesn’t take this news very well. Understandable I guess, I would probably get angry if someone tried to tell me I was a werewolf, no wait I wouldn’t I would think it was awesome. Okay so maybe I understand where Scott is coming from a little bit, all his dreams have basically come true and here’s Stiles telling him that it’s not actually happily ever after it’s just the beginning of a nightmare.

Stiles doesn’t think that Scott should go on his date with Allison seeing as it’s the full moon and he’s a werewolf, Scott disagrees. Scott thinks Stiles should shut up and he reinforces this by shoving Stiles against a wall (people do that a lot). This is not so good because it give me all kinds of domestic violence feelings. Scotts all, I’m sorry but he’s not. Then the look on Stiles face he looks so betrayed and then he looks so angry, but he’s not angry at Scott he’s angry at himself for getting into that position and not being able to stop it.

Stiles picks up his desk chair to reveal claw marks on the back of his chair… how do you hide that one from your dad Stiles? I bet he thinks you’re into something really kinky.

Scott is getting ready for his date in nothing but a towel, with the bathroom door open but I guess they went too long without seeing any many flesh. Anyway mum wants to have ‘the talk’, Scott assures her that he knows all about save sex, which is awkward because that’s not actually what mum was referring to. Apparently she lets him go though because the next thing we know Scott’s picking up Allison.

It’s a teen party, there is dancing, drinking and general debauchery… wait is that Derek lurking in the corner, yup that’s about right. Derek you seriously need to work on your people skills. Lurking around teenagers wearing nothing but a leather jacket and scowl (he might be wearing other clothes on the actual show but in my mind he is not), it’s no wonder people think he’s a criminal. But that’s a neat trick with shutting the dog up, I’m sure Scott will be super impressed and totally want to join Derek’s wolf pack now.

Forget about Derek (he’s done his disappearing act anyway), it’s time to dance – although I’m pretty sure it’s a safety hazard to dance and drink that close to a pool, oh wait you haven’t learned that lesson yet. Things are getting a little bit hot and heavy between Scott and Allison and I guess Lydia as well too seeing as she’s doing her best eye sexing in Scott’s direction. Apparently it’s working, Scott’s heart rate must be a rising because his hands are starting to get a little bit wolfy. I can’t really blame you Scott, Lydia’s sexy eyes get my heart racing as well.

You know when your out at night and you hit that point, you know the one, when you have had one too many chocolate milks and suddenly your body goes into survival mode… then without any warning, without saying goodbye to anyone you just up and leave. A switch flips in your head and all you know is that you have to get home and no social expectation is going to stop you. It seems Scott has hit that point.

Scott ditches Allison walks right by Stiles, exits the party and heads home without so much as a wave goodbye. It’s no wonder Allison decides to go home with Derek – not a smart move really, please girls and boys don’t get in the car with some random older guy that says he’s friends with your date… ever. I don’t care how hot he is. Just don’t do that.

Before we move on though I’m just wondering why Stiles was at this party? And who were all those people he was talking to? Somewhere after this episode we get the impression that Scott and Stiles, especially Stiles, don’t have any other friends… but it’s clear from this episode that Stiles talks to quite a few people. Then again maybe those guys Stiles was with were about to beat him up for being at a party that he wasn’t invited to.

Anyway back to Scott’s Drama – he runs home to take a shower, because whenever one is having a supernatural crisis of identity it is always important to be shirtless and wet… this show is a gift.

Never fear Scott, your buddy Stiles is here to help, maybe you should let him in the room. On second thoughts don’t, don’t let him in, Stiles has absolutely no sense of self perseveration and sometimes someone should really lock him up to stop him from getting himself killed. Actually all the time, someone should do that all the time… in fact the new rule for everyone is protect Stiles, his flailing limbs and his flytrap mouth at all costs.

Scott thinks he’s figured out who the big bad is, it’s Derek Hale… thus beginning Scott’s ridiculous tendency to blame Derek for everything, even though some of it NOT his fault. Suddenly Scott remembers his priorities, Stiles just said that Derek took Allison from the party – Scott must save Allison. She is his damsel and he is the hero. So off Scott goes, slow motion jump out of the window into a puddle (there just had to be water, and he’s still shirtless btw).

Cue Sailor Moon styles transformation and now Scott is a werewolf. He’s not an actual wolf, he’s just lost his eyebrows, gained epic sideburns, pointy ears and some nasty looking teeth… and he’s off after Allison.

Stiles decides to go after Allison as well because I guess he really didn’t want his best friend to murder her, which is nice of him. He reaches Allison’s house and is confronted by Allison’s mother (she’s got the crazy eyes) – it’s okay though because Allison is safe and sound at home… but then where is Scott and Derek.

Scott spies Allison’s coat hanging from a tree in the woods… it’s a trap! It’s cool though, Derek just wants to have a yoda!chat about control and danger. Then they role around on the ground for a bit and just when you think things are going to get interesting (read naked) the hunters attack. Scott is shot with an arrow and it’s looks as though the hotties hunters are about to get him but Derek would never let him get caught because they’re brothers now.

Once they’re clear of the hunters Derek explains to Scott that contrary to what he believes the bite is actually a gift, a gift that most people would kill for (he’s right about that one). Scott’s got some reservations considering the evening he’s had, he assaulted his best friend, ruined his date and got shot, but Derek’s not listening he’s already disappeared into nothingness, he does that.

Scott is left wandering along the street, shirtless and alone… but he’s never alone, not really because here is one of the only constants in his life. In fact one of the only constants in the Teen Wolf universe, the real hero of the show, it’s Stiles’ Jeep. Everyone loves the Jeep… Stiles is driving so I guess he gets some kudos for coming to pick his friend up from the middle of nowhere, but come on that’s what friends are for.  

This conversation happens and it pretty much sums up everyone’s thoughts about Scott for the entire season.…

Scott: You know what worries me the most.
Stiles: If you say Allison I’m gonna punch you in the head.

Of course it’s Allison, it’s always Allison. Scott’s not worried about apologizing for Stiles for not listening to him or for going all angry wolf on him, no he’s just worried about the fact that Allison might not forgive him. She shouldn’t forgive him but all he has to do is flash those puppy dog eyes and it’s impossible not too. Seriously between Scott’s eyes and Allison’s dimples they could actually take over the world, I guess we should be grateful they use their powers for good (at least they try to anyway). 

Back at school, Allison does indeed forgive Scott and it’s all looking good until her dad turns up… turns out Allison’s dad is actually the hottie hunter from the night before and with that this show shifted from Twilight to “Romeo and Juliet”.

There you have it, the very first episode of Teen Wolf... it's amazing that every time I re-watch this show I always forget just how often Posey is shirtless - it's like 75% of the episode! There are many reasons Teen Wolf is a gift and that is one of them. Just don't try to make it a drinking game though because you will die. 

What did you think? Did you just watch it for the first time? Or are you re-experiencing like me? Do you have a love/hate relationship with Scott's decisions making skills? What about Scott and Allison's romance does it make you want to vomit or do you think it's sweet? 

Just talk to me about Teen Wolf okay?