Sunday, March 3, 2013

Recap-turning Teen Wolf: Stiles is (probably) a better yoda.

Previously on Teen Wolf… Scott is still picturing Allison naked, Jackson is still looking for the juice also Derek scratched him and he should probably get that checked out. Scott saved Allison he didn’t save the Sheriff and there was an actual mountain lion.

For this weeks cold open horror movie cliché we’re in a multi story car park. Scott apparently does to the grocery shopping because he’s carrying a large number of bags into the dark car park… naturally he can’t find his car so he goes to check another level. The actual best part about this is how he just accepts the fact that he’s forgotten where he parked like it’s a common occurrence. He gives up on just looking and starts clicking the alarm on his key ring until he locates the car. He’s not at all fussed when it is in the complete opposite direction he was looking.

In another horror movie homage (which I absolutely adore btw) Scott drops a bottle of milk it rolls under a car… then it roles back with a couple of claw shaped holes in it – what a considerate monster.  Yes Scott that would be the key to run but in case you didn’t get it there’s a nice growl to confirm the danger.

Scott runs, his heartbeat is going crazy but he’s able to concoct a plan – he sets off all the car alarms in one row and then runs to hide in another. It’s all going pretty well, considering it’s Scott’s plan, until his phone goes off. Bam Derek jumps out of the shadows to teach Scott a lesson.

Title Card.

It’s time for another one of Derek’s impromptu werewolf lessons. Derek thinks Scott failed, Scott disagrees he thought the thing with the car alarm thing was pretty smart. Derek says it might have been, if Allison hadn’t called at the most inopportune moment (I’m pretty sure Derek thinks she did this on purpose on account of her being an Argent and a woman).

If you look hard enough you can see Derek hating his life a little bit more every time he's forced to interact with Scott.
Scott’s upset because everything is his fault (he’s the hero, he should be able to save everyone) but then he decides that it’s actually probably Derek’s fault for not teaching him fast enough. Derek says that teaching someone that is bitten takes time, he’s not even sure it’s possible.

Anyway back to the theme of Derek’s lesson: women are evil and sex is a distraction. Derek tells Scott he needs to get rid of Allison because the only way to control the shift is through anger and Scott can’t get angry if he’s getting laid. Then he breaks Scott’s phone to prove a point or just because Scott annoys him I’m not sure. Then Derek’s all can you stay away from Allison right and Scott’s like yes, of course.

Cut to Allison’s bedroom where she and Scott are doing some pretty heavy petting. 

You had one job Scott!
Allison wants to get naked, Scott want’s to make sure she’s okay with it then Allison wants to make sure he’s okay with it and that’s when they realize they are horny teenagers so yeah they are totally okay with it. Because this is Teen Wolf Scott has to remove his shirt first (drink for gratuitous man flesh). Unfortunately the sexy-times are irrupted by a knock at the door, Scott hides in the closet (lolgasm) and creepy Aunt Kate comes in for some Allison bonding time.

Conveniently Allison is writing a history report, which has to have some relevance to her family naturally creepy Aunt Kate has some suggestions. She suggests Allison look up “le bête du Gevaudan” (the beast of Gevaudan) – it’s basically a werewolf fairytale. Yup creepy Aunt Kate is laying the bread crums fast and thick and Scott is not exactly happy about it.

As Scott is leaving Allison’s he spots something in the bushes. He thinks it’s Derek so he starts making excuses for why he is seeing Allison after he promised not to… it’s not Derek. It’s the Alpha. Scott hides in the car, the Alpha draws a spiral in the mist on the window and Scott is sufficiently freaked.

Back at home – Scott closes the door to his bedroom and locks all the windows for safety. It’s too bad Derek’s already inside. Sitting there in the dark. Waiting.

Derek wants to know what kind of feeling Scott got from the Alpha but Scott’s about as in touch with his feelings as a fork. He did get anger though, but it wasn’t directed at Scott. It’s not until right at the very end of the conversation that Scott decides to mention that the Alpha left him an actual message – a spiral. Derek freaks at this news then tries to pretend it’s nothing. Scott gives Derek some useful advice that he should really listen to…

Scott: “You can’t as me to trust you and then not tell me anything.”

At school the next day Scott tries really hard to stay away from Allison… and Jackson but not Stiles who is avoiding Scott because his dad got hurt.

Stiles just can't resist talking about Derek.
In class Stiles tries really hard not to talk to Scott but Scott taunts him by talking about Derek and Stiles can’t resist. Scott tells Stiles that Derek wants him to tap into his animal side. Stiles thinks this is stupid…

Stiles: “Correct me if I’m wrong but every time you do that you try to kill someone and that someone’s usually me.”

Scott says that he’s meeting Derek after work for more lessons and Stiles takes that as a challenge. He’s got until the end of the school day to teach Scott himself.

In the cafeteria Allison is telling a very uninterested Lydia about “le bête du Gevaudan” – apparently the beast was killed by a hunter called Argent (surprise surprise). Lydia’s still not interested until Allison shows her a picture of the beast (which looks like a wolf) and Lydia has post-traumatic flashbacks.

Meanwhile Scott is hiding behind his world history text book – which Stiles says is making him more obvious. Stiles says not to worry though because he has a plan.

Scott: "Does that mean you don’t hate me now?"
Stiles: "No but your crap has infiltrated my life so now I have to do something about it."

Plus Stiles is definitely a better yoda than Derek even if Scott does not appreciate his comedy gold.

Out on the lacrosse field Stiles has temporarily misappropriated one of the schools heart rate monitors and stolen the Coach Cupcake's phone. He figures that Scott’s control has something to with his heart rate – kind of like the Incredible Hulk. Stiles plan apparently consists of hitting Scott repeatedly with lacrosses balls (are they called balls? Man this sport is confusing). Jackson finds this hilarious until Scott almost wolfs out.

Scott manages to control himself but he’s worried because the angrier he got the stronger he felt. Derek was right, he has to stay away from Allison not because she makes him happy, but because she makes him weak.

Back in the locter room Stiles thinks that the whole women make you weak it a little too Spartan warrior for his tastes. Scott points out that the whole Spartan thing fits with Derek, he’s totally alone. Scott would rather be dead than become like Derek (not going to lie Scott, I think Derek would rather be dead than be like Derek). Stiles promises that Scott is not going to become like Derek and as they are leaving Scott notices that something smells off – like rotting or dying.

Drink for gratuitous man flesh!
The rotting and dying smell – yeah that’s Jackson, he’s not looking so well. He pulls off his shirt to check himself out in the mirror (for medical purposes of course but also - drink for gratuitous man flesh). Then he vomits up a wolf claw which is both creepy and gross but it’s okay because it was just hallucination.

In the hallway, Allison is sitting in front of her locker (do they ever go to class) when Jackson approaches sitting down next to her. There’s creepy music in case you didn’t realize that Jackson is being weird. Allison is skeptical but Jackson insists he just wants to talk, to apologize for being such a jerk to both her and Scott. Allison doesn’t buy it. Jackson gives a speech about how hard it is to be talented and popular especially when someone might be better than you and no one is feeling at all sympathetic – not even Allison.

I kind of ship that - does that make me a bad person?
Allison: "You know there's no ‘I’ in team."
Jackson: "Yeah but there is a ‘me’."

Apparently that was a joke, but it feels like an accurate representation of Jackson’s life philosophy. Although I will agree with Jackson when he says he’s not a bad guy. He’s made stupid mistakes (and there are a lot more of those to come) but he’s really not a bad guy.

Back in Coach Cupcakes economics class Allison sits behind Scott and tells him she switched lab partners so they have an excuse to spend more time together (so much for staying away Scott). Coach Cupcake asks Scott to summarize last nights readings or any readings but he can’t because he’s been too focused on the whole werewolf thing (and Allison) to do any reading ever. Scott’s heart-rate begins to rise and Stiles starts freaking out but then Allison takes Scott’s hand and he goes back to normal… awww.

After class Stiles confronts Scott with his theory. It’s Allison. She’s the one that keeps Scott in control. Scott’s confused because whenever they are getting hot and heavy he can’t control himself at all. Stiles says that’s different because when he’s doing that he’s just another hormonal teenager thinking about sex. Scott then gets distracted and starts thinking about sex.

Stiles: "She gives you control. She’s kind of like an anchor."
Scott: "You mean because I love her."

Scott realising he's in love.
Yup he just said that and it was adorable as is his realization that he said that and the slightly proud look on Stiles face. But time to move on – Scott’s nervous because Stiles has his idea face on.

Scott: "Oh no you’re getting and idea aren’t you?"
Stiles: "Yeah."
Scott: "Is this idea gonna get me in trouble?"
Stiles: "Maybe."
Scott: "Is this idea gonna cause me physical pain?"
Stiles: "Yeah definitely."

I absolutely love this exchange because it suggests that this is how Scott and Stiles friendship has always worked. Stiles gets a stupid idea and Scott goes along with it even though he knows it’s going to end badly – just like that time Stiles insisted they go look for a dead body in the woods.

Outside Stiles tells Scott to hold his keys up – he then keys a truck that belongs to some rather angry looking young men. Stiles then points out that Scott is holding keys and watches as Scott gets the crap beat out of him. But as Scott manages to find Allison's heartbeat and not wolf out he figures it was a successful mission. Except for the fact that Mr Harris caught them and instead of taking Scott to the hospital or calling the police he gives them detention.

At least detention gives them a chance to talk about their issues. Scott is worried that Stiles is still angry about what happened to his dad. He can’t have his best friend angry with him. Stiles says he’s not angry anymore and then gives Scott the with great power comes great responsibility speech.

Stiles: "You have something Scott. Whether you want it or not you can do things that no one else can do. So that means you don’t have a choice anymore. It means you have to do something."

Meanwhile Derek goes to visit Uncle Peter because we needed some sad. Derek begs his Uncle for help or any kind of sign that he can hear him – did someone else make it out of the fire? His rant is interrupted by the nurse who suggest Derek try to be patient but Derek doesn’t do patient. He storms out of the room before he can see Peter move his finger. But outside someone has left a note on the hood the Camaro.

Cut to the animal clinic – the vet thinks Scott has finally arrived for this shift but it’s not Scott it’s Derek. Derek needs some help he wants to know about the animal that was found with spiral on its side (that’s what was on the note). The creepy vet insists he doesn’t know anything but Derek can tell by his heartbeat that he’s lying. Derek doesn’t take well to people that lie to him – so naturally he knocks the vet out and ties him up.

Derek is just about to start torturing Deaton for information when Scott shows up. Derek tells Scott that the spiral is the werewolf symbol for revenge and the Alpha isn’t going to stop until he’s satisfied. Derek thinks that Deaton is the Alpha but Scott’s not going to let Derek hurt anyone – especially not his boss. He totally controls the shift and proves that Stiles is indeed a better yoda than Derek. Scott asks Derek to give him and hour and meet him at the school.

An hour later Stiles and Scott arrive at the School. Stiles thinks that whatever Scott’s plan is, it’s terrible. He’s a fan of ignoring the problem until eventually it goes away. Derek’s here – he has Deaten tied up in the back of the Camaro. Stiles and Scott tell Derek to wait and the head into the school.

Turns out Scott’s plan is to call the Alpha with a howl using the school’s PA system. Scott howls – it’s terrible – Derek question’s his life choices again and Stiles thinks it sounded like a cat being choked to death. Stiles tries to pump Scott up to try again – he needs to be a werewolf not a teen wolf (they said the thing!).

Stiles is also questioning his choice in friends.
Scott let’s out a ripping howl that is more like a growl – it shakes the building it’s so loud and even Derek is surprised.

Back in the parking lot Derek is going to kill both Scott and Stiles because they have probably called every wolf in the state. Scott didn’t realize it would be that loud, Stiles doesn't even care…

Stiles: "It was loud and it was awesome."
Derek: "Shut up."
Stiles: "Don’t be such a sourwolf."

And thus the legend was born. Derek shall now forever be known as sourwolf because the fandom has latched onto that one word like nothing else (especially the Sterek fandom). That’s what fandom does it takes the tiniest little thing and creates a whole backstory to go with it. Sourwolf goes from being a silly insult Stiles uses because he’s worried Derek is going to kill them to and endearing nickname that represents their snarky relationship.

No time to bask in the hilarity that is sourwolf though because Deaton has disappeared and then the Alpha stabs Derek in the back and throws him against the side of the building.

Stiles and Scott can’t do anything except run for cover – the hide inside the school but the Alpha is still out there so this is probably not going end well.

… To be continued.

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