Thursday, November 22, 2012

Shipping News: All the Bond ships, plus waking up with holiday incest

Okay so most of my favourite televisions shows have gone on hiatus for an American holiday (Thanksgiving I think?) but don’t worry because I still have plenty to talk about. I finally saw Breaking Dawn Part 2 and Skyfall and then there is some holiday incest that I don’t really know what to taboo with it (I’m totally puntastic).

Slight spoilers for Skyfall, Breaking Dawn Part 2 and Teen Wolf Season 3.

It might seem a little early to be getting into the holiday spirit. Personally I would probably celebrate Christmas all year round but my mum has a rule – no Christmas until December… while it’s not quite December yet Tumblr has decided to get into the spirit early, with a nice hot serving of holiday incest. That’s right I’m talking about the rediscovery of this Folgers commercial which appears to depict a little something more than sibling love. Just watch and it will all become clear.

As far as I can tell this sudden obsession came after Nicole James tweeted about this forgotten advertising gem. The tweet was circulated around Tumblr with a link to the above video. Soon enough everyone was shipping this forbidden love; just check the comments on the video if you don’t believe me.

Since then the Folgers brother and sister (OTP: you’re my present) fandom has taken on a life of it’s own. Frecklenite recut the commercial with new music – watch it here – and there are even a few fics – here (one of them actually had me in tears – there was a moment, as I was sitting in the middle of the library crying over fan fiction about a coffee commercial that I thought… when did this become my life?). Seriously though the best thing about shippers is that once they get an idea in their head, they just run with it and magic happens.

Alright let’s talk about Bond, James Bond because I finally saw Skyfall, which means I finally got to see what the slash hype was about. You may or may not have heard that the slash fangirls (and boys) have been going crazy about a couple of new slash ships from the latest 007 adventure. First there is 00Q – because Q is now the lovely Ben Whishaw so he’s all pretty, which means now you have a young sassy genius interacting with the uber masculine hero – it’s like slash shipping for dummies. Then there is 00Silva, which stems from some seriously foyay happening between our intrepid hero and the resistant bond villain – there is one scene that almost made me squeal, you know what I’m talking about.

While I could see the merit in both these ships I have a problem… I think I might be the only person in the world that doesn’t find Daniel Craig attractive. Seriously is it just me? It’s not that I think he’s hideous, theoretically I can see the appeal it’s just when I see him on the screen it does absolutely nothing for me. This might be the reason that it just makes me super uncomfortable whenever he flirts with anyone (girl or guy). Daniel Craig has the flirtation skills of an armadillo, which is a problem seeing as he’s playing James Bond – the most notorious flirt in the history of ever. So every time he tried to get his flirt on it just made me super uncomfortable.

There was one romance that stood out – for me anyway – and that was the one between Bond and M (played by the lovely Judy Dench). I was completely invested in that relationship and would have totally been okay with them having a smooch. I don’t care what any of you say. I ship it, I ship it good.

I have to mention it, because while it’s been quite some time since Twilight resolved most of its shipping wars it gave shipper so much fun for so long I think Breaking Dawn Part 2 deserves a mention. I think everyone pretty much knows how this one turns out – I know we’re supposed to say there is a twist ending and there kind of is but really how twisty can you get with this book (NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENS).

Bella and Edward are already married and they have (creepy demon) baby – because Breaking Dawn is worse fan fiction than 50 Shades of Grey (turns out vampires can have babies that are immortal too that’s just super convenient and not even a little bit ridiculous). Jacob imprints on the demon baby I mean Renesmee (which is not creepy at all apparently) so the plan is that they live happily every after in the weirdest family unit ever and everyone feels super awkward about buying a Team Jacob T-shirt.

That said, I did get all warm and fuzzy on the inside when they had a flashback sequence of Bella and Edwards romance over the 4 films… say what you want I like Twilight – moralistic gender equality and all.

Also just because you guys aren’t freaked out enough, anyone that has seen the film will know that there is a rather awkward scene between Charlie (Bella’s dad) and Jacob… you know the one I mean. So what I’m going to need now is for someone to recut that scene in slow motion with romantic music (if this has already happened please send it to me because I wants it, I needs it) – I would do it myself but I’m already going to hell I want to drag a few of you down with me.

Just because I haven’t talked about Teen Wolf in a little while let’s see what’s up there… The teasers keep coming from MTV but the one that has me thinking is that eps 302 and 203 will feature Scott and Derek working together – while you know I’m a Sterek girl at heart I do know a few people that ship Scott and Derek so this one is for them, have fun.

Also there was this interaction of Jeff Davis (who is still a gift) Twitter which confirms that Stiles is in fact a virgin…

…not that anyone is really surprised since he’s only sixteen and has been in love with a girl that doesn’t know he exists since he was 8. But still it does beg the question – who is going to be the one to pop our beloved Stiles cherry? And if you’re wondering if I feel a little creepy asking that question then you must be new here. I live off the sex lives of fiction teenagers… okay so maybe that’s a little creepy.

Right well that’s all for this week but don’t forget to tell me your thoughts in the comments… like who do you think should take Stiles v-card? Which Bond ship does it for you? And do you really hate Twilight as much as you say you do – now just come clean and admit which team you were on?

Till next time, happy shipping.