Monday, February 18, 2013

Recapturing Teen Wolf: Magic Bullet

Previously on Teen Wolf… Derek didn’t bite Scott but he is still creepy and he needs Scott to find the Alpha. Scott is thinking about Allison naked and Jackson is thinking about Scott. Stiles is thinking about Lydia and definitely not Derek.

A lone car drives through a dodgy neighborhood at night, it’s being driven by a woman who is listening to chick music. Everything seems fine until the danger music starts playing and the predator POV kicks in. Yup this is basically every single Supernatural cold open ever complete with the woman saying to herself “get it together Kate”. She’s going to die right… wrong. It’s a Buffy genre flip because the classic female victim is actually a shotgun wielding badass (she's also completely insane but we'll get to that later). 

Title Card!

Scott hears Kate’s shotgun from bed but sadly he is not shirtless (don’t worry they will make up for that later).

Back at the Argent abode Allison catches Hottie Papa Argent sneaking out – apparently her aunt Kate has a flat tire. It’s clearly a lie but Allison is too tired to call him on it.

Badass woman aka Aunt Kate has her hands full now that Derek has joined the Alpha chase. Kate is not happy and she has big gun with some special bullets (one might even say magic bullets). Derek chases the Alpha onto the roof of a factory (or something similar) only to be shot by Kate, who seems pretty pleased with the turn of events. Kate is soon joined by Hottie Hunter Argent and it’s pretty easy to see that Chris does not approve of his baby sisters reckless methods.

Scott has apparently climbed out of bed and made his way to the scene of the crime. He listens into the Argent siblings conversation – discovering that whoever has been shot (we know it’s Derek of course) only has about 48hrs to live. If that wasn’t enough evidence we cut to Derek’s glowing wound and worried look, it’s times like these he wishes he had better social skills and more friends.

The next day – at the Argent abode – Allison is very excited to see her aunt Kate. Aunt Kate gushes over how beautiful Allison is (I know that feel Kate) because that’s what aunt’s are supposed to do. Allison mentions that she kind of has a special boy and Kate thinks she should kind of have many boys (agreed). It’s all lovely family bonding until Allison tries to open Kate’s bag – Kate uses her kung-fu death grip to freak Allison out and then mentions that her car needed a jump star (not a flat tire). Well that’s suspicious enough to warrant further investigation.

In school, Stiles is still bitching about Derek and Scott is just angry about life. To make matters worse he got a D on a test. This is something I want to draw attention too because there is a lot of discussion in the fandom about Scott’s intelligence.

On the test Scott gets back it says very clearly that this result is not like him. Add to this the way Stiles says “dude you need to Study more” and it’s clear, Scott is not an idiot and he’s not a bad student either. Sure when you compare him to Stiles he doesn’t look great but that’s because Stiles is genuinely a genius. Stiles doesn’t need to study all the time to keep on top of his school work because he pretty much coasts through on his intelligence anyway. Scott on the other hand is an average student so of course his grades are going to start to slip when he doesn’t have time to study.

It’s okay though because Scott’s “studying” with Allison after school. Stiles is excited by this because he’s a creep and due to the fact that he has about as much game as an otter in a tub of jello he has to live vicariously through Scott. Scott agrees but only if Stiles stops with the questions. Stiles promises no more talk about the Alpha or werewolves or Derek (who still arouses scares him).

Speaking of Derek – he’s wandering through the halls of Beacon Hills High looking like a junkie (does this school have any teachers?). He’s looking for Scott but finds Jackson instead. Jackson’s a dick as usual even though Derek asked politely and he only does that once. Jackson still wants to know where Scott is getting his juice and suggests that Derek should stop sampling the merchandise. Derek decides to walk away because Jackson is clearly an idiot – but before he leaves he feels the need to manhandle the teenagers again leaving a nasty scratch on the back of Jackson’s neck.

Derek gives up on asking the teenagers for help and opts to use his werewolf super-hearing to locate Scott. He finds Allison, which is close enough because even Derek is observant enough to work out that if you find Allison Scott can’t be far away.

I like to think this picture represents how Lydia feels about everyone she knows.
Allison is talking to Lydia about her “study date” with Scott. Lydia reminds Allison to use a condom – Allison is shocked, she really likes Scott and she doesn’t want to screw it up. Lydia thinks Allison should screw Scott, Allison seems to like this plan. 

End of the school day, Stiles practically skips out of building and into his jeep – he’s probably got a date with his right hand to get home to – unfortunately his plans are put on hold when Derek collapse in front of his car.

Stiles: “You got to be kidding me this guys everywhere.”

Scott decides the best way to deal with a dying Derek is to yell at him to stop. Remember what I said about Scott not being an idiot, I take that back. The best part of this exchange is Derek’s exasperated look when Stiles asks if he was shot by a silver bullet. That is Derek’s “how is this my life” look. Remember that look – you’re going to see a lot of it in this episode. They manage to get Derek into Stiles jeep and Scott heads to Allison’s for sex to find the magic bullet. Also Jackson is staring at Scott in a meaningful way again but that’s hardly anything new (just admit you’re in love already Jackson).

Scott rides his bike with werewolf speed – beating Allison’s car back to her house. He’s worried about entering the enemy camp but Allison tells him not to worry, they won’t be home for hours. They head straight for Allison’s room – Scott thinks they should start with history but Allison has other ideas.

They make out on Allison’s bed until Scott pulse starts to rise and his claws come out. Not another thinly veiled metaphor for the male sex drive (wait yes it is). Scott doesn’t want to make Allison feel like she has to do something she doesn’t want to. Allison looks at Scott like he’s an idiot seriously does she look like the kind of girl that would let Scott force her into to doing something she didn’t want to. Scott’s phone rings… he doesn’t answer it because when does he ever answer it. Seriously if your life depends on Scott answering a call then you are already dead.

Meanwhile back at the jeep. Stiles is taking Derek home but Derek’s not having it. He can’t go home when he can’t protect himself. Derek pulls up his shirt to reveal the seriously infected bullet wound. Stiles gags and tries to kick Derek out of the car – he’s not scared of a wounded Derek… except that he is.

Derek: “Start the car or I’m going to rip your throat out… with my teeth.”

Stiles starts the car.

Scott turns his phone off and Allison shares the many failed hobbies she’s had over the years. She is good at something though – she leads Scott into the garage to reveal that she’s an expert archer. Scott doesn’t find this funny at all because archery seems like a useful skill for someone that was planning on being a werewolf hunter. He’s soon distracted by a wall of guns – Allison’s dad sells fire arms to the police – it looks as though that magic bullet is going to be pretty hard to find.

The young lovers are making out in the garage when Hottie Papa Argent and Aunt Kate come home.

How could anyone stay mad at those puppy dog eyes?
Papa Argent is basically what every father aspires to be when their daughter brings a date home. He’s incredibly menacing but he doesn’t actually make any official threats, it’s all implied. Scotts about to head home when Aunt Kate decides to have some fun – she invites him and his adorable brown eyes to stay for the most awkward family dinner ever.

Seriously, I’m not lying. If I was at this dinner I would have stabbed myself but Scott powers through – he must really like you Allison. Papa Argent offers Scott various forms of alcohol, which Scott of course politely declines. Mama Argent attempts to make the conversation more pleasant but Papa Argent just keeps bringing it back to awkward-ville.

My favourite part is that Allison starts to freak out because her dad is being a total ass to her boyfriend and Scott (bless his cotton socks) picks up on it. He takes Allison’s hand in his and makes an awful joke to ease the tension. It’s one of my favourite Scott/Allison moments and it reminds me that even though they annoy the crap out of me sometimes they are actually pretty adorable.

Back at the jeep Stiles is freaking out because Derek smells like death – cue Derek’s “how is this my life” look. Scott suggests Stiles take him to the animal clinic, the creepy Vet won’t be there so it should be safe.

Scott is trying to subtly search the house (well as subtly as Scott can) but he accidently sets of an alarm. Luckily for Scott Aunt Kate catches him and conveniently lets him use the guest bathroom, which is attached to her room. Scott smells the bullet – finding it in Aunt Kate’s bag. He translates the French label, it’s Nordic Blue Monkshood, and calls Derek who tells him that he needs to bring him the bullet.

Scott tries to ditch the end of the most awkward dinner ever but Aunt Kate insists that he stays for desert. I’m glad she does though because Papa Argent gives possibly my favourite speech ever about a rabid dog. I know it has extra significance because Scott is a werewolf but I swear if I ever have a daughter I am going to give this speech to anyone she brings home. (On a side note I have never been more attracted to Papa Argent – it’s creepy but damn sexy).

Anyway back at the Animal clinic – Derek takes his shirt off because of reasons that I don’t even care about because Hoechlin’s body is actually a work of art. He goes on and on about his last resort and I probably should be listening but since he took his shirt off it’s very difficult to concentrate. Apparently Stiles has to cut off Derek’s arm… oh. 

Scott’s finally getting away or so he thinks when Kate Argent corners him and asks him what he took from her room. Scott’s terrified, Allison is embarrassed and Papa Argent is just looking for an excuse to beat the crap out of Scott. It looks like he’s going to be busted when one of my all time favourite Teen Wolf moments happens. Allison pulls out a condom – apparently she was in her Aunt’s bag before Scott was.  

It’s the best thing ever – Papa Argent looks like he’s hemorrhaging and Scott can’t figure out where to look. My favourite thing is that Scott doesn’t work out the implications of what’s just happened until he’s out of the house and he smiles like a kid on Christmas morning.

Back at the Animal clinic things are not going so well. Stiles does really like the idea of having to chop an arm off because of the blood.

Derek: “You faint at the sight of blood?”
Stiles: “No but I might at the sight of a chopped off arm.”

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate the way that Stiles and Derek interact. I’ve been brushing over it until now because most of it doesn’t have that much significance to the plot but that’s got to stop. When Dylan and Hoechlin perform together magic happens. Their timing is quite literally perfect. The lines they are saying aren’t anything special on their own but the way their delivered makes them some of the most memorable on the show. Stiles makes Derek funny – his extreme seriousness becomes sassy annoyance and Derek highlights the fact that Stiles is a snarky dick. Stiles is not a lovable kitten and it’s his interactions with Derek that show that. There is no way I can do them justice through description but just trust me when I say that there is a reason people like their dynamic so much.

Anyway Stiles is not buying the threats until Derek decides to manhandle the teenager pulling Stiles into his personal space (oh the gifs). Stiles is about to chop Derek’s arm off when Scott arrives saving Stiles from a lifetime of therapy. Derek takes the magic bullet but passes out before he can tell them what to do with it. Scott has to control his shift and bring out his claws to get the bullet when it falls into a floor vent. Stiles is practically on top of Derek freaking out because he’s pretty sure the werewolf is dead.

Scott gets the bullet and Stiles prays that Derek doesn’t kill him for punching him awake. Derek takes the contents of the bullet sets it on fire and puts the ash into his infected bullet wound.

Then something spectacular happens – he falls onto the ground and starts writhing in pain. Except apparently Derek’s version of writhing in pain is thrusting his crotch into the air… also he’s shirtless and in very tight jeans. I'm not lying or exaggerating, this is a thing that actually happened. And people ask me why I watch this show.

I think Stiles sums up the sentiment of the entire fandom when he says: “that was awesome.”

Derek is cured – if his ability to use sarcasm is anything to go by but because Derek is not allowed to have nice things Scott threatens to go to the Argents if Derek doesn’t leave him alone. Derek takes Scott on a field trip to the local hospice to introduce Scott to his Uncle Peter, which leads into the first of the three cliffhangers at the end of the episode.

Cliffhanger no. 1: Six years ago, Derek and his sister were at school when someone set fire to their house killing eleven people and burning Uncle Peter beyond repair. Derek is sure it was the Argents that did it because they were the only ones that knew.

Cliffhanger no. 2: Outside the Argent abode Allison spots something mysterious – the passenger window of her aunt’s car is broken. Definitely suspicious.

Cliffhanger no. 3: Inside the house Kate and Chris have a little chat about hunting according to the code – they only hunt those that hunt them. Kate insists that she always plays by the rules but the way that her eyes light up at the sight of fire suggests otherwise.

The end… til next time. 

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