Thursday, September 13, 2012

Let’s talk about Glee, baby: “The New Rachel”

It’s back. Yup, that show that I hate myself for watching is back on the small screen (in the US anyway, sorry international folks – check your local listings for airdates). This show just consistently disappoints, and the latest ep is no exception. I suppose I should be thankful that it’s consistent in something at least because this season’s opener could best be described using the word ‘meh’.

It should go without saying that there are spoilers in this post but the Internet has taught me that most people are stupid so here’s your warning – if you have not seen the newest Glee ep (as in 4.01 aka “The New Rachel”) then do not read this post… unless you want to be spoiled then go right ahead but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Look the episode isn’t that bad, in fact it’s perfectly adequate but it just not what a series opener should be, so if you weren’t a Glee fan before then this ep probably isn’t going to convert you. Not that I would recommend you start watching this show because it will lure you in and then shit on your face… Sorry there are some underlying issues here… no one hates Glee more than Glee fans (does anyone call themselves a Gleek anymore?).

The problems with splitting the show between New York and Lima are clear from the opening. It’s two completely different shows and that have no purpose being glued together. I mean grow some balls Glee, either let go of your old cast or commit to following them wherever they are going. I would watch a show about Rachel and Kurt trying to make it in New York (as long as they had regular visits from Quinn). Heck I would even watch a show about the new “New Directions” trying to fill the shoes of those that left. But the two mixed together, it’s just annoying and confusing and I don’t like it.

It wasn’t all bad though, Finn was no where to be seen, which is always a good thing – it’s too much to hope that we might be rid of him completely but if this new season signals the end of ‘Captain Finn can do no wrong and you should all learn from him’ storylines then I might keep watching after all. Of course Rachel spent much of her time looking at photos of him on her phone, but I just assumed that was the only way they could connect Rachel’s new life with the old one. Besides Rachel’s found a new man to rescue her because heaven forbid she did something with out having a man to reassure her that she’s making the right choice.

Rachel follows in the Glee tradition of perving on people in the shower, which is not at all creepy and totally acceptable, and that’s how she meets Brody. To be honest I just found it a little bit creepy because Glee hired that kid from Australian Idol that couldn’t sing to play what I am guessing is supposed to be a heartthrob. Seriously Glee I think you need to get me some Dianna Agron stat so I can get the bad taste out of my mouth.

Rachel’s New York storyline did gain some points because Kate Hudson’s legs. Mmm yes, more of that and less of the “alcoholic ex-Broadway star picks on Rachel because she has the most talent but will end up learning from her” stuff please.

Meanwhile – on the other show that is also Glee and packed into the same 40 minutes – New Directions is trying to work out who’s the new Rachel. I don’t know why they even bother with the whole competition shtick because wasn’t Blaine already the new Rachel last year? But whatever it’s a storyline of sorts and it was nice to think that Tina and my beloved Brit Brit might get more screen time this year but then I realized that the new Rachel is actually just Rachel 2.0. Well OK her name is Marley and she’s a lot more morally righteous than Rachel – I mean nice – but she’s clearly there to fill the role of unpopular girl with big starry dreams.

I’m willing to admit that Melissa Benoist actually has an interesting voice, and she’s pretty cute but the storyline feels a bit stale. She’s poor and her mother is the lunch lady but she’s not ashamed of who she is and as such she will teach Glee club how to be inclusive… again.

Apart from simple character changes her I’m guessing she will follow basically the same path as Rachel before her. Except this time, instead of the popular jock, she’s going to have a romance with the new Puck (literally he’s a long lost brother – oh Glee). She even has a blonde cheerleader as an enemy – but really Kitty is a poor man’s Quinn. Did I mention the severe lack of Quinn in the episode? Boy do I miss her crazy antics, someone trying to steal a baby might have made this episode slightly interesting.

The worst (and best) part of the episode was Kurt – the image of him hanging out in the high school with the Glee club was just really hard to watch. It made me uncomfortable and it even made the characters on the show uncomfortable. The whole storyline served no purpose except that they wanted to have Kurt with Blaine one last time before shipping him off to join Rachel’s show in New York.

Then again, any excuse for Darren Criss to serenade someone is OK by me, when he does that it makes me forget that I hate Blaine as a character and remember why it is that he took over the show. Performance wise Darren Criss is just heads above the rest of the class, it’s too bad he can’t have decent writing to match.  

Luckily by the end of the episode Kurt has made it to New York where he meets Rachel in a movie worthy reunion. Although I still can’t work out how Kurt knew exactly where Rachel was going to be. Did he just follow her around for the whole day until she called him so that he could surprise her? You know what I would not put it past either of them to stage a dramatic reunion like that but now I can’t get the image of Kurt shadowing Rachel in a wig and sunglasses out of my head. Anyway I’m actually excited to see Rachel and Kurt take on New York together – if only they had a whole 40 mins to do it in!

All in all it really was a pretty lack-luster effort even for Glee. It really needs to up its game if I’m going to keep watching. In fact I will give them a handy guide of what I want to see this season.

What I want to see this season:
  • ·      Quinn.
  • ·      Sam, just all the Sam, especially if Sam is making Game of Thrones references. I vote that Sam should be the new Rachel.
  • ·      Quinn visits Rachel in New York
  • ·      Kate Hudson’s legs, in fishnets preferably.
  • ·      Quinn being queen of Yale.
  • ·      Blaine serenades everyone on the quad, especially Sam.
  • ·      Maybe some more Quinn.
  • ·    Actual footage of Brittana scissoring… everywhere. On Skype, in the bath maybe even in the choir room.
  • ·      Oh and Quinn.
  • ·      Finn is shipper over seas and never seen or heard from again.
  • ·      QUINNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Ok so I might be a little bit resentful of this show but you have to understand that they made me love it, they made me care about the characters and then they just kind of lost the plot… literally. There is no plot. Why Glee why????

There will be more new TV soon to distract me but at the moment this is all I have. Comment with your thoughts, maybe you liked this episode? Or maybe you think I am ridiculous for even trying with the show. Whatever just comment.